Tag Archives: cannibals

9/11 Plus 6

Bring me the head of Osama Bin Laden! The Pentagon increased the reward for OBL to $50,000,000 tax-free Dead or Alive. No takers. The al-Quada mastermind responded to this ante with video inviting the West to embrace Islam or else. Faced with those two options I regretfully have to inform the world’s most wanted fugitive […]

GHOST OF THE STUMP by Peter Nolan Smith

In the early 90s diamonds were priced to the advantage of the dealers on 47th Street. 50% profit was normal for most stones and my boss Manny gave his sales staff commission based on 5% of the gross. In February of 1991 I had the luck to hook a middle-aged woman looking to buy a […]

Halfway Around the World

The first recorded circumnavigation of the world was completed by Magellan’s fleet in 1522. The Portuguese explorer’s trip ended in a bloody beach battle in the Philippines. Of the five ships and 237 men only 18 survived this epic journey thank to the captaincy of Juan Sebastián Elcano. His name is forgotten by the masses, […]

Zombie Zictims

“Zombies, zombies, zombies.” Last week headlines across America screamed the warning of a zombie attack in Miami after a crazed naked man at a derelict’s face in public followed by a mother eating her newborn’s toes as well as a Maryland college student confessing the crime of cannibalism to local police and a man mutilating […]

Ever Green in Bangkok

This week the world’s climate experts are meeting in Bangkok to formalize a plan to deal with climate change, despite FOX NEWS and drivers of SUVs claims that global warming is a hoax perpetrated by the liberal media. The secretary general of the United Nations, Ban Ki Moon, is calling on the representatives to save […]