FALLEN BUT NOT FORGOTTEN by Peter Nolan Smith

On November 11, 2011 I accompanied the British and the American ambassadors to the US military cemetery outside Luxembourg City. Luxembourg was a small duchy. I looked out the window of the Jaguar, as we exited from the city. The morning sun struggled to break through the low fog. It would have little success on that day as it had at the end of 1944.

In December of 1944 over four thousand American fell in the Battle of the Bulge. Our troops had stopped the Nazis by Christmas, but the savage fight had been a close thing.

The German ambassador waited at the gate of the American cemetery. He had come to lay a wreath in honor of the dead. Beyond him thousands of white crosses marked the graves of my fallen countrymen.

I got out of the British ambassador’s Jaguar and walked away from the assembled dignitaries like the old man at the beginning of SAVING PRIVATE RYAN.

“Are you okay?” The American ambassador caught up with me at a wall rusty with autumn leaves.

“Yes.” There were tears in my eyes. These men were from my father’s generation. I knew men who had fought here. “I’m surprised by it all.”

“I felt the same way the first time I saw all these graves.” The ambassador was a few years older than me. “Let’s walk to the back of the cemetery.”

The dewy grass wet our shoes, as we checked the gravestones for names, ages, and states.

Each one had died in the bitter cold of December 1944. They hailed from every nationality. Most had been in their twenties. More than a few were from my home states of Massachusetts and Maine.

We arrived at the last row and returned to General Patton’s grave, who laid forever at the head of his army.

I got some more dust in my eyes, as a lone bugler played taps. The American ambassador patted my shoulder. We didn’t have to say another word, just nodded to honor the dead

The next day I traveled to Charleroi and mentioned this visit to an American friend. Vonelli poured me a glass of Orval Beer and we sat by the fire in his living room.

“My father had been with the artillery in the Battle of the Bulge and my old man never got over the horror of that winter.”

Vonelli was a veteran of a colder war from the 70s.

“Every morning the platoon commander held a lottery, which picked the forward artillery observers from the ranks. After the results the chosen men would shake hands with their friends, knowing their chances of coming back in the evening were close to nil.”

“And they went?”

“It’s what they did,” Vonelli said with reverence.

I thought about the graves that the ambassador and I had passed yesterday and seeing those marked unknown.

“They were the best of the best.” We could only honor their sacrifice.

“That they were.”

Maybe the dust in my eye had had something to do with the lump in my throat, because those men had been us once and I am eternally grateful in the Here-Now as well as dedicated to keeping the peace in the Here-Beyond.

It’s the least I can do for those men.

11-11-11

On the 11th minute of 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918 a permanent ceasefire was called along the Eastern and Western fronts, although troops continued to shoot at each other for several hours after the armistice ended the 4-year global conflict.

11-11-11 occurs once a century.

Someone in the armistice committee must have been heavily influenced by numerology to have chosen this powerful progression of the first prime number.

As if this magical combination could stop soldiers from killing each other.

George Lawrence Price was hit by the sniper’s bullet at 10:58 and the Canadian is thought to be the Great War’s last casualty.

Of course the time could have been a coincidences like 9/11/2001.

Today the major combatant nations of World War 1 commemorated their fallen dead.

Over 65 million soldiers participated in the struggle.

My grandfather and grandmother served in France for the Canadian Medical expedition. They came home on an ocean liner and married soon after their arrival in Maine. The two veterans lived together for thirty-two years. My grandfather died the year I was born and my grandmother passed away twenty years later.

She was the last World War I vets I knew.

The last surviving veteran was Claude Choules, who served Royal Navy during WW1. He died in 2011 aged 110. Rest in peace, soldiers!

Peace will come one day.

Journal Entry – Poetry – November 11, 1978 – East Village

Kenya, the River Platte, Flanders
Vienna, Istanbul, Berlin
Versus
Moscow, London, and Paris
1914 to 1918
An assassination in Sarajevo to the Treaty of Versailles
World War I
Machine guns, trenches, blood
Airplanes, Zeppelins, blood
Gas, barbed wire, blood
Death in a thousand fields
Verdun
Gallipoli
Tannenburg
Emperors’ armies
Nations’ will
Men’s blood
Victory and defeat
The kaiser in exile,
The sultan deposed,
The Tsar eliminated by the New Men
Yanks, Krauts, Limeys, Frogs, Aussies
Ivans, Turks, Pollacks
Greeks, Serbs, Slavs,
Japs, I-ties, and Scots
Dead by the millions and at the eleventh minute
Of the Eleventh hour
Of the Eleventh day
Of the Eleventh Month
In the year of 1918
A ceasefire to the War to End all Wars.
For a few years.


I’m alone in bed, reading John Toland’s 1918 THE LAST YEAR. Alice rose early and went to Club 57. Her true home. I have classic music from a Philadelphia radio station, a bottle of 1972 Bordeaux, and a joint. No naked body. Alice still thinks she’s too fat to have sex. I think the opposite, but the mirror tells the truth to everyone with their own reflection.

My evening plans are to go to a party and then hit CBGBs. I avoid Club 57. Susan and my old friends, the boys from East 6th Street; Frank Holiday, Andy Reese, and William Lively make me uncomfortable IN that club. Someone spread a rumor that I had robbed Tim Dunleavey. I suspect Andy Reese and Frank Holiday. They are junkies, plus I prefer CBGBs. The bartenders like me. I flirt with girls. Guadalcanal and I snort coke. Not everyone is so friendly. A drunk from New Jersey wanted to fight me. Guadalcanal grabbed the thug and chucked him out with Merv, the Gentle Giant, at the door.

“That was nothing,” says Guadalcanal.

Yeah, that’s all everything is.”

“I meant that guy.”

Alice and her crowd show up. I wave to Lisa Crystal, Holly’s daughter, let in my girlfriend and tell the others to pay. They’ve come to see Pere Ubu, an art band from Cleveland. Sort of a punk Meat Loaf. Alice comes to the bar.

“Can’t you get Susan in for free?”

“It’s not my bar.”

“I’ll pay for her.”

“Why can’t she pay for herself?”

Alice makes a face. I figure the two area couple. We haven’t made love this week. Maybe not last week either.

The Club 57 set come in without saying ‘hello’.

I leave with Guadalcanal.

“Before I came here, I thought Boston was small, but everyplace is small, if you only go to the same places every night.”

“You could always broaden your horizons by joining the real world. Get a 9 to 5. Wear a tie.”

“Yeah, I could always do that.” I have a fear of ending up like Peter Willen, my Aunt Mary’s beau. A socialist with smoke-stained teeth. My mother is scared of that fate for me too.

The GOP scored massive gains in the 1978 mid-term elections. White men hated President Jimmy Carter, They want a strong America to face the USSR.

Prior to the vote the GOP controlled twelve states, now they have eighteen thanks to the media’s portrayal of America losing its way; i.e. the grip of white people over the rest of Americans; Black, Spanish, Asian, and under-paid working classes.

Massachusetts was served by Republicans Senator Edward Brooke and Governor Frank Sargent. My father hated Sargent for not financing I-95 across the North Shore wetlands. I like them the way they are.

No one says a word about World War I. It ended sixty years ago.

May 12, 1990 – Langtang Trek, Nepal – 1990 – Journal Entry

Published May 30, 2023

The passing clouds obscure the 6000-meter snow-tipped peaks towering over the Langtang Valley, but the 5000-meter ragged summits cut through the mist with each parting of the clouds.

The tea house serves a good cup of yak butter tea. I’m not liking the salty brew, but it does provide warmth and nourishment. Dorzee our guide is inside the teahouse speaking with a female Sherpa guide and an Austrian woman fluent in Tuchin in Tibetan. I can only speak English, French, and German. I learned a little Bahasa Indonesian in Biak, Bali, and Sumatra. No Thai, Sherpa or Nepali.

Dorzee has been kind enough to translate for us.

He emerges from the tea house and bids good-bye, “Chag-po nang.”

We proceed up the steep trail passing head-high prayer walls.

Garz-bo is steep in Tibetan.

I’m sure like the Eskimos the Sherpas have other words for steep.

I have three.

Steep, very steep, and very fucking steep.

English is my only usable language in this valley other than hand signals, which I use whenever I treat people for cuts, festering wounds, and encrusted eyes. My thermometer amazing them, since I have to put in in their mouth. I usually stick out my tongue to show that I am not a demon. The last of my patients at this rest stop are watching me wash my sox. All these young boys and girls are all barefoot eith busted toenails.

They waved good-bye, as we like every foreigner passing their village head higher to Kyangjin at the head of the valley.

We pass head-high prayer walls erected by faithful Buddhists. The porters mutter prayers and Dorzee says, “They not say these prayers. No one read Tibetan. Not read English. Only lamas read walls. No one here read. No one go school. Not have schools. Before we have many walls. Now not many. Everything not same. No grass, no yaks, no money, no carving.”

Something was not right in the mountains. The monsoons came at a different time and the snows were always late. For some reason every year was warmer.

A platoon of Nepali soldiers pass us on the trail heading up to the glacier. The sergeant talks with Dorzee, while the patrol hikes forward. After the sergeant’s departure, he says, “Still have trouble in Kathmandu. Most time never see soldiers up here. Government want to tell Sherpas they are in charge. They come and they go. They never stay.”

The villagers are Sherpa, Tibetan or Gurkha. They live on the other side of time. Far from the world below. Once the monsoons come the trekking season will be over and the porters will return the shoes and warm clothing to the Kathmandu agencies, then return to up mountain. The villages will retreat into the security of a past lost to the now.

The poverty increases every step forward. Life goes on as it has for millenium. Everyone is uneducated, illiterate, unwashed, malnourished, sick, wear rags, but they always have a smile for us. especially when I give a pen and paper or a postcard of Bali or Thailand to the children. So little will make them happy. I also have sweets. Several Lonely Planet backpackers have ventured reproached me for distributing these candies to the locals. They give no one nothing. Lance tells me to ignore them.

After the next tea stop the porters light cigarettes, swing the packs onto their backs. The loads are getting less and their pace is twice ours. All for $5/day.

Thankfully they are getting all that money, unless they lose it in cards.

The sun is setting over the high rim of Himalayas. It is a little colder than before and Lance and I have decide to sleep in the tea house. Still cold, but it’s out of the wind. We have run out of whiskey. Dice and I have switched to the milky millet beer. Tongba, which we drink around a blazing fire. Three cups and I’m feeling okay, glad to not humping on the trail and breathing easier at this altitude.

The porters are playing ‘Jhyap’, a take and discard card game whose which you play from the three best hands. Money is being waged by everyone. I have no interest n losing money and retire to my room. I am out cold at 8pm.

LATER

Dorge won seventy RPs. Labarai won even more from the porters and villagers. Two-hundred Rupees. About three days of trekking wages and the losers have been losers all the way up the trail. None of them have the sneakers I bought them, but they still have cigarettes

I’ve worked hard, but not like the porters.

Working at the diamond exchange I never break a sweat. The heaviest thing I lift is a pencil or paper. I don’t want to work. I want to travel all the time, but I need money.

I wish I could sell my noVel NORTH NORTH HOLLYWOOD. Maybe I’ll be lucky in Paris, London, and New York. Maybe I’ll be able to sherry it to Monty. It really doesn’t matter. I’m four days away from civilization.

May 12 Rinche – Lama Hotel – Langtang – Journal Entry

Day two and we dined with the Sherpa porters, cooks and guides by a campfire. There is no electricity in this valley other than our flashlights and my Sony World Band radio.I turn it on getting a scratchy Nepali station playing local music sounding much like Indian music. The Sherpa are happy and break out their cigarettes. Damn, they love smoking tobacco. I think about joining them, but my lungs are torched by today’s trek.

There was no culture clash. We were hungry after the hard steep climb. The Sherpas seemed fine. It had been a hard trudge on the trail. They were carrying forty kilos each. Our load were small backpacks.

“The first thing a westerner learns in Sherpa is “Carry this.” The next is “Carry me.”

Dorge says tomorrow the trail will become steeper and we will have to cross a landslide. I wonder if the Sherpas have as many words for steep as the Eskimos have for snow.

Lance and I drank two glasses of whiskey. Dorge said none for the porters or anyone else in our crew.

After dinner we went to out separate rooms. Our legs are noodled and neither of us are acclimated to breathing at this altitude.

The trekking crew are gathered outside by a fire. They smoked heavily and play cards. Laughter and cursing. I can’t decipher the swears, but I can tell that they are all in good humor.

Working in nightclubs had taught me the menacing tone of calling someone something bad.

I turn on my Sony Word-Band radio

Nothing, but static in this deep valley.

No one here knew nothing of the troubles in Kathmandu.
Several nights ago Lance and I had stood on the roof of our Thamel hotel. The protestors ran down the narrow street. The police were behind them. The soldiers trapped them and started shooting. They saw people watching from the roofs and aimed up and pulled their triggers. The officers had told them that this was a communist uprising and they were going to kill the king.

Kathmandu didn’t exist here.

There was the trail and the villages and the river and the Himalayas covered with snow.

After this I was flying to Paris with a stop-0ver in Frankfurt.

No one was waiting for me at either terminal.

I had friends in Paris.

I would call them once back in Kathmandu.

There are no phones here.

Only word of mouth.

All I am is a trekker in a lodge by a cataract raging through the valley. I open the window. A billion stars are overhead. Something strange about the ground. Millions of fireflies carpet the grass. Blinking like the stars. This place is magic. I breathe in the thin air scented by pines and fire. Only the earth, the river, and the smoke of a smoldering fire.

We’re heading higher tomorrow.

No one on the way but us and Sherpas. Yaks too.

The poverty here is crushing.

Porters are paid $2 a day.

We’re paying ours $5.

They’re carrying forty kilos. I’m carrying five.

Just so I can see a glacier at the end of the trail. The room next door is quiet.

The crew has fallen asleep.

It’s only 9.

I go to bed to join them.

Dreaming of the Cafe le Flore in Paris.