I Blew The Shofar

Several years ago I was out on Montauk with Richie Boy. The summer rental of his shack had finished the previous Sunday and his beach house was his again. We worked around his cottage in the morning and played with his twins, then hit Ditch Plains at noon. The waves were ankle-high, but the surfers in the water discussed the upcoming swell on Wednesday.

“There’s a hurricane out there.” Richie eyed the ocean.

“Potentially the biggest waves of the season.” Another surfer said sitting on his board..

“I’m taking off the week for Rosh Hashanah.”

Nobody argued with Richie’s choice. He was almost a local. We spent another hour at the break, then returned to his shack for a BBQ.

Later I caught the last train to New York and slept in my own bed.

The following morning I woke up thinking that today was the High Holy Day of Awe and said as much to my landlord.

“No, it’s next Wednesday,” AP told me.

“I blew it.”

“Better than blowing the chauffeur.”

I made a mistake, but what can you expect from a goy?

ps the ocean was flat last weekend, but lovely all the same.

Stealing the Shofar

Joseph, a deeply religious man, went to his temple for Rosh Hashanah and forgot his prayer shawl [Tallit], so he borrowed one from “the rack” by the door.

At the end of the service, he realised that he really liked this Tallit so much so that he actually decided to stuff it down the front of his trousers and take it home.

After the service when he was walking through the reception line, the Rabbi Lionel stopped him and whispered, ‘Joseph, I am sorry, but I saw you stuff a tallit down your pants. Why would you do this?’

Joseph, totally embarrassed and ashamed, explained the situation, whereupon Rabbi Lionel suggested he remove it from his trousers and give it back. By now, the Tallit had managed to slide half-way down his leg. While Joseph was bent over pulling the it out of his pant leg, he accidentally let out a loud fart.

Rabbi Lionel, exasperated, said, ‘Joseph … you took the Shofar, too?’

Paris – Dawn – Rue Ile St. Louie – 1984

Thinking about Sharon Mitchell
Tied to the wooden rafters
On Rue Ile St. Louis 1984—
Dawn creeping over the Paris rooftops
You__naked
You__legs apart
You__your back red from the belt
You__your thighs quivering with each strike
You__moaning
You___ panties in your mouth
You___ ass arching back begging for my cock
Me__Leather engineer boots
Leather Gloves
A long dark green German leather coat
I free thee
You—collapse onto your knees
Hands tied tight
Behind your back
A slave___
Licking my engineer boots
Pret a tout
With dawn Crawling over the Paris rooftops

The you is Sharon Mitchell

A fellow sexual adventurer.

We are cousins sort of.

Montauk # 27

An Autumn Afternoon
Sitting on a bench
A simple pleasure
Watching seagulls
Not gliding
No wind
Wings beating
Away from the Atlantic
Montauk Lake bound
Free
As am I
An old hippie hobo
Lost on the wind___

According to the Easthampton Star between the Shinnecock Inlet and Montauk Point, there’s a chance to see the Bonaparte’s gull, Iceland gull, glaucous gull, lesser black-backed gull, and even black-headed gull. I only spot the herring gull, which dine on fluke and sea bass, but also shellfish and smaller birds. When the whales are breaching in their fishing herds, the gulls peck at the whales, fearlessly snacking on the large sea mammals. They gather in groups, very protective of their space. I always approach them at an angle, yet they are aware of my presence. Clever are the gulls. Also monogamous.

“As I watched the seagulls, I thought, That’s the road to take; find the absolute rhythm and follow it with absolute trust.” – Nikos Kazantzakis

February 10, 1991 Biak – Indonesia – Journal

Larry Smith the famed diver, is not on Biak. I went down to his ship. It seems out of commission with only a Javanese mate on board. Andi explained that the engine had crapped out and Larry and his wife had flown to Surabaya for some parts.

“When are they back.”

And I shrugged and sucked on his Kretek cigarette, content to be alone. I left him thus, understanding the beauty of aloneness after working thirty days straight on West 47th Street selling jewelry for my boss, Manny.

Surabaya is a famed seaport on the eastern tip of Java. Last year I had thought about stopping there on my way from Mount Bromo to visit the harbor filled with Bugis prahus and the infamous Gang Dolly, reputed to be Southeast Asia’s largest red-light district, a 200 meter-long street offering wickedness with snake aphrodisiacs and magic sex workers from Madura, but decided to stay on the train to Yogjakarta.

I walked away from the boat and stopped at a small restaurant for nasi goreng, a popular Indonesian dish of stir-fried brown rice spiced with kecap manis (sweet soy sauce), shallot, garlic, ground shrimp paste, tamarind and chili topped by a fried egg. Siting there I read my Rough Guide about trekking through Irian Jaya. I feel like flying to Jayapura, the province largest city, on the main island and heading up to the Baliem valley for a hike through the Highlands, inspired by the book FIRST CONTACT. Rough Guide suggests a flight up into the mountains, then hiring a guide to wander through the Stone Age culture. It’s dangerous since most villages don’t like the village nearest them. Land encroachments and women instigate deadly conflicts with them eating the dead without anyone ever telling the Javanese police. What happens in the Baliem Valley stays in the Baliem Valley. A flight to Jayapura is only $50 round trip. I hankered it to see them, since I’ve always been haunted the Michael C Rockefeller wing at the Metropolitan Museum featuring Asmat sculptures from this land of islands beyond the Modern Age. My only contact with the people here are seeing them walking by naked men with a gourd over their penis. They are completely comfortable in their skin. No shame about offending civilized foreigners; Javanese or missionaries. Like this is us. We cool with it.

They don’t even bother with flip flops are feet walking on the shoulder of the road rather than the sun-baked pavement. I can’t walk barefoot on stones.

After this late breakfast I returned to the hotel and walk down to the sea with my snorkel, fins, and diving mask. There is no real beach, but a shallow coral ledge leading out to an underwater cliff. I wear a teeshirt against the sun even though it’s cloudy. The sun is very strong here and I don’t like suntan lotion. I slip on my diving gear and stash my sneakers under a rock, so they don’t drift Away. I walk backwards and plunge over the cliff, and dive down twenty feet into an explosion of parrot fish nibbling at the coral, spitting out the rocks. Scores of other fish, small and large, which I can identify swarm the coral face. I swim against the drift current to maintain my place, suddenly realizing that if I get back on the the Reef I’ll have no idea where my shoes are. After a minute I break the surface. The sea is smooth. I can see the islands in the distance. It’s not a sunny day and the sea, the islands in the sky, and the clouds all seem to be varying shades of blue gray. I can’t even define the colors. Shoreward coconut trees lift over the land and buildings mark the main road leading to town. I I orient my position and be one with the sea. A half hour later, I find my sneakers. No one would steal them. My foot is too large for the Javanese and the locals don’t wear shoes.

This is the life.

I’m glad I asked John from Panda Express Travel a year ago when looking at the itinerary, “What’s Biak?”

Now I know.

Geadig back to the hotel nce again I ask myself, “Why did I ever go to Europe when this was waiting?”