Stasi East Berlin 1982

In the autumn of 1982 the BSir’s DJ Henri Flesh and I jetted from Hamburg to Berlin’s Tempelhof aerport to see our friends from Helen Wheels play at a concert halle. We checked into a four-star hotel and toured the city. Of course the wall at Brandenburg Gate anda viewing from a raised platform of the Wall’s death zone.

After the fall of the Thousand Year Reich, Stalin approved the Red Army’s plunder of the Soviet zone, rippling the economy of the DDR, while the Marshall Plan spurred the growth of the Bundesrepublik. Millions fled the East, mostly through Berlin.In 1961 Erik Honneker the DDR’s communist leader, instructed the army to erect a wall to stop the loss of workers. Many attempted to flee, few succeeded, and hundreds were shot by the security forces.

A long walk back to the Kurfurstdamm revealed the Porsche’s resurrection from Hitler’s Gottdammerung to a sparkling weltstadt offering the wealth of the Free World; Mercedes, Hugo Boss fashion, chocolate and the delights of the KaDeWe shopping mecca. The only sign of the War was the ruins of Kaiser Wilhelm Memorial Church. That night after the concert we partied at the infamous Dzungel. Sex, drugs, dancing, as if no one expected to lived till tomorrow.

We slept from dawn till 11. A quick swim at our elegant Hotel. No fruhstuck of hard bread and cheese. Only black coffee.

The concierge asked where we were going and after I replied, “Ost Berlin.”

He frowned and said, “Be careful. Because of the Pershing missiles, there is tension between the East and West.”

“We’re not spies.” Reagan had authorized the deployment of these powerful, highly accurate missiles throughout West Germany. The Kremlin had retaliated with threats and the left of the Bundesrepublik protested this upbuild-up with marches on the streets. This was the frontier of the Cold war.

“Be careful. Speak to no one. You might not be spies, but everyone on the other side of the wall is a potential informer to Stasi.”
“Thanks for the warning.” He handed in our keys and then taxied had to Checkpoint Charlie, the legendary crossing from West Berlin to East Berlin.

A burly DDR female border guard processed our passports. Her stocky build looked like she had been training for the 1984 Olympics as a men’s shot putter. Henri whispered that she loved her, as we exchanged twenty-five BundesRepublik marks into East German currency. He was into big women.

The Parisian said nothing. As direct descendants of the Gestapo the Stasi were well known for their lack of humor.

Clearing the checkpoint the differences between the two Berlins was immediately apparent from the wastelands between bullet-pocked bukdings and the lack of parked cars. The desolation resembled the devastated Lower East Side of the 1970s. At least no buildings were on flames like the East Village.

“So we speak to no one.” Henri meant women.

“Do what you want, but Stasi’s informants numbered in the hundreds of thousands and reported on friends and families. The headquarters in Licthenberg holds the worn clothing of thousands of suspected anti-communists to aid specially trained dogs to run potential escapees from the DDR escapees. All in numbered in IDed glass jars.”

“Les Boches toujours le meme.” Henri’s family had lived the occupation in Paris. After two wars feew French had any good to say about Germans.

A single Trabant puttered by sounding like an underpowered golf cart. The few pedestrians crossed the street to avoid any contact with us. None of them looked like Stasi, but informers are us. We avoided them on the way to the old Reichtag. It also bore scars of the War. Neither of us had a camera, which was a good thing, since several men were observing us with practiced neglect.

None of the stores had anything of interest and neither of us wanted to intrude to bother the owners, but both of us were thirsty and Henri suggested that we go to a bierkellar. We entered and all conversation ceased between the score of proelatarian workers. None of them stated us and kept their gaze at the table, especially after two men entered the bar. I ordered us two bier. One DDR DM. I told the bartender, “Zwei bier fur alleman.” I put my money on the bar and pointed to the two Stasi to show that there was no hard feeling. They remained standing and no one left their chairs to grab a bier.

“Les Boches. Pas de change.” Henri down his bier. I downed mine. I would have like another, but this wasn’t the time. Henri tried to give away his money of the way to Checkpoint Charlie. We ere like the plague. A danger. Even children knew enough to steer clear of westerners. Getting back to the border, Henri said, “One day they will be as free as us. Let’s get some real beer.”

And that was all the freedom we needed in this world.

That’s an another city on the town.

The Fall of Berlin Wall 1989 – 2009

“Ich bin en Berliner.”

These words were spoken by JFK before the grim barrier in 1961.

I have stood at the wall in 1982. Its shabby concrete was graffiti-splattered on the Western side. The other side was a no-man’s land of mines, dogs, and guard towers. I had crossed over to East Berlin via Checkpoint Charlie. I was immediately struck by the amount of parking available on the streets. Beer was plentiful and cheap. food was good and even cheaper. There was nothing to buy in the shops, so I spent my deutschmarks on beer for the locals. They grumbled ‘danke’ like they were stuck with communism for the rest of their lives.

Hope sprung anew with Gorbachev and Ronald Reagan gave this speech at the UN.

“We welcome change and openness; for we believe that freedom and security go together, that the advance of human liberty can only strengthen the cause of world peace. There is one sign the Soviets can make that would be unmistakable, that would advance dramatically the cause of freedom and peace. General Secretary Gorbachev, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union and eastern Europe, if you seek liberalization, come here to this gate. Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate. Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!”

Nothing happened that day and no one expected the Berlin Wall to fall. The UUSR’s missiles were pointed at the USA and the West. They numbered in the thousands. The hard-liners refused to grant any liberties to the masses. George Bush was more concerned with the Contras in Central America than the Kremlin. Americans were geared for another fifty years of Communist rule over Eastern Europe, yet in one night a faceless bureaucrat shrugged off the Iron Curtain draped over East Germany and ordered the Berlin Wall to be open for passage between the two worlds at war.

The domino effect was instantaneous. East Germans flocked to the West in wonder. Poland was liberated by Solidarity. The Balkans fought off the old guard and Russia splintered into pieces.

Communism was dead.

George Bush and the GOP claimed the victory.

Democracy was safe.

But even safer was capitalism and as Slavoj Zizek wrote a brilliant opinion piece in today’s New York Times celebrating the end of communism in Eastern Europe while recognizing that the collapse of communism was not complete and neither was the triumph of capitalism a victory for the people of the world.

The richer got rich and then got richer.

Both in the New East and the Old West.

So today I’m wearing an old Moscow Dynamos Hockey shirt.

My keys are on a communist key chain.

And my heart is a little pink, but not hued by the blood of Stalin.

Communism failed, because there never was communism.

Not in Russia and not in China.

And never in the USA.

Not even under Obama.

But the revolution lives on.

No matter what anyone says.

Even me.

Berlin Wall a la Pattaya


The Berlin Wall fell in November of 1989.

Several years ago a German expat in Pattaya tried to recreate one of many escape attempts over the infamous barrier between East and West by trying to evade police by leaping over a concrete wall topped by barbed wire in a state of nakedness. Stasi Police would have shot him dead back in the good old days of the DDR, however the Thai police responded by restraining the unclothed man and remanding the madman to his embassy.

I recall reading back in the 1970s about another mad German attempting suicide by an escape over the Berlin Wall. He ran out into the minefield without exploding a single bomb, then climbed the wall to become tangled in the wire. The guards shot at him and their errant bullets snapped the barbed wire, so the verrückter Mann fell into West Berlin. Disappointed by failures he jumped into the River Spree to drown only to be rescue by the US Army.

He cursed them all and fled into the path of a street car.

It killed him dead and he died a happy free man.

There is no success like a suicide getting to the end at last.

Free at last. Freikeit im Der Ende.

NICHT FUN by Peter Nolan Smith

In the autumn of 1982 Henri Flesh and I flew to Berlin. We booked rooms at the Hotel Kempenski for a three-day holiday from BSIR, Hamburg’s most popular club, after working the entire summer. That night the French DJ and I went out to the Dschungel in Charlottesburg, where we ran into a pair of Christina F lookalikes. All the girls wanted to be the junkie teen refugee from the Zoo Station, who had become a star thanks to her bestselling book, THE DIARY OF CHRISTINE F. My girl’s name was Chloe. The ex-ballerina from Koln was as blonde as Ilsa of the SS.

The next morning and gray and misty. We bid the girls auf-wiedersehen, giving them taxi fare and money for a breakfast. Henri and I strolled over to the Brandenburg Gate. The photo image of a Red Army soldier waving the Red Flag over its battered arch was burnt into my head. Concrete barriers barred any approach to the monument to national unity. Nina Hagen, a punk singer, had been granted deportation to avoid becoming a protest figure. This was not the Free World.

We strolled over to the graffitied Wall and climbed a scaffolding to view over the twelve-foot wall. The heavily-mined ‘death strip’ was a barren patch of dirt stretching right and left into the murk. Another wall barred any escapes along with an electrified fence. The Cold War was running strong on the front line and the two us smoked Gitanes on the way to get into East Berlin. A huff of Persian Brown helped pass the time and we arrived at Checkpoint Charlie in a nod.

The squat female border guard wasn’t happy about letting us into the workers’ paradise. We were enemies of the state in her eyes and those of the West as well. She stamped our pass light as ether. The Stasi or secret police had ways of dealing with our kind and two bland men followed us. Unlike the prosperity in West Berlin entire neighborhoods bore the scars of the Fall of Berlin. Bullet holes, shell holes, collapsed buildings, and empty blocks. In many ways East Berlin looked like the East Village.

We walked through the deserted city and crossed the River Spree to arrive at Karl-Marx Platz, where a thin concrete communication tower rose into the graying September sky showing off the achievment of the DDR.. The fog was so thick the spie was barely visible. The stomp of boots startled us and across the plaza a troop of armed Soviet soldier goose-stepped out of the mist.

“There’s parking everywhere.” Henri wished that we had my orange VW bug.

“Here comes a car.” Henri pointed to where a small car whined down the street.

“Wooo, ein Trabant.” We waved to the driver and Henri explained that East Germans waited for years to purchase one. It sounded like a lawn mower. The Stasi agents didn’t appreciate our laughing.

We drank bier in a restaurant. The people at the tables avoided lifting their heads. They knew how to act around the Stasi.

One big glass cost twenty-five pfennigs. I had enough money for a hundred beers and bought a round for everyone in the restaurant. No one said thank you. No one touched the glasses. They stayed on the bar.

The Stasi approached the barman and spoke in low voices.

“They are no fun.” Henri wasn’t liking this day trip.

We left the restaurant and went shopping, except there was nothing to buy in the shops.

“Maybe we could score some drugs.” Henri entered a pharmacy and exited in a huff. “They were only selling steroids. Last thing I want is to look like an East German female athlete.”

The Communist competitor were three times the man I would ever be in real life.

“Us too.” The girls acted out weighing weights.

The Stasi were no amused by our behavior. Two more followed us. Their message was clear

Heraus auslanders.

Wir zuruckgehen nach Ost.”

I had had enough of East Berlin.

“Communism is a failure.” Henri liked his socialist France.

“Same as capitalism.” I hated the consumerism of the West, where everyone’s soul was for sale.

I wanted to go back to the hotel and nearing Checkpoint Charlie we gave our remaining East German DMs to a young boy. He looked at the Stasi agents and threw them on the ground, then ran down the street.

We passed through the Berlin Wall at the sunset. No one stoped us at the frontier. We were no threat to the DDR. The dyky border guard was still on duty. Helga had to love her job. Once more back in the American sector I waved down a taxi and told the driver to take us to the Kempinski.

He asked about East Berlin.

“It’s a worker’s paradise.”

“Schiesse.”

Even Henri knew the meaning of that word, but neither did I consider the west the Free worrld. I like Nina Hagen was a punk.

I doubted I would ever see East Berlin again and bid the half-city ‘Niewiedersehen’, although that night Chloe and I pretended we were spies and I loved lying in bed with her, whsipering in my Boston-accented German, feeling oh so James Bond. Oh, 007.

Chastity First

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Published Nov 4, 2008
Feminists around the world have reacted with horror to a new line of lingerie that comes equipped with a GPS tracking system.
The ‘find me if you can’ range of underwear has been described as a modern-day, high-tech chastity belt.
‘It is outrageous to think that men can buy this, programme it and give it to their partners and then monitor them,’ said Claudia Burghart, leader of a Berlin feminist group.
‘It is nothing more than a chastity belt for insecure men.’
Lingerie maker Lucia Lorio of Brazil says her design targets the ‘modern, techno-savvy woman’.
The lingerie combination set consists of lace bodice, bikini bottom and faux pearl collar, with the GPS device nestled in the see-through part of the bodice next to the waist.
‘This collection… is a wink to women and a challenge to men because, even if she gives him the password to her GPS, she can always turn it off,’ Lorio said.

‘It’s not a modern chastity belt. Some men think they can keep tabs on their girlfriends with it, but they’re wrong,’ she added.
Unconcerned with the controversy her collection has raised, Lorio is also dismissive of the global financial crisis and its adverse impact on luxury items sales.
The GPS lingerie sells from a cool £500, complete with a standard Global Positioning System, to £700 with a more advanced model.
‘Some women are now interested in buying it for protection,’ she said, programming it for partners themselves so they are safe on a night out alone.
‘In London, New York, Rio de Janiero – wherever there is danger, the underwear may prove to be a lifesaver,’ she added.

But feminists in her homeland have called her a modern-day slaver and urged women to boycott the GPS underwear.