Category Archives: 2000s

Palm Beach Ne’er-Do-Well 2008

April 16, 2025 – 7:33 am

Many of my female friends laughed upon hearing about my summer job of dog walker on Palm Beach. “What’s so funny?” “We know what’s going to happen.” Each women was possessed by a singular vision. “You’re going to fleece some heiress.” “Fleece?” Both my wife and mistress had green-lighted any multi-zero gigoloing with turtle-fleshed heiresses […]

By Peter | Also posted in Palm Beach | Tagged , | Comments (0)

THE POLITESSE OF PALM BEACH COPS by Peter Nolan Smith

April 15, 2025 – 1:16 pm

Back in the summer of 2008 I was taking care of a Palm Beach mansion. It was deep off-season and hurricane season was coming on fast. One evening I went over to my friend’s house close to the center on town. After dinner Lisa killed me at scrabble. She scored 33 points for xi, which […]

By Peter | Also posted in animals, Florida, semi-fiction | Tagged , , , , , | Comments (0)

Mad Dogs And Farangs in the Sun

April 13, 2025 – 9:22 am

Last week I met Jamie Parker on Soi Chaiyapoon. I hadn’t seen him in ages. He looked ten years younger and said, “Botox. Only cost 5000 baht.” No wrinkles around his eyes and those furrows in his forehead had been smoothed out like 5-star hotel sheets. I was a little jealous. “So now you’re ready […]

By Peter | Also posted in farangs, friends, Pattaya, semi-fiction, weather | Tagged , , , , | Comments (0)

SICK BUFFALO FOR EVERYONE 2012

April 13, 2025 – 1:18 am

Several years ago my future ex-wife’s brother-in-law received a phone call from his brother. Bok and his son were in the hospital. They had had a motorsai accident. My future ex-wife hung up the phone. “Neither of them are dead?” I asked in Thai “No.” This was good news. Bok and his son Beer were […]

By Peter | Also posted in animals, Drinking, Driving, motorbikes, semi-fiction, Thailand, Traditions | Tagged , , , , , | Comments (0)

QUEEN OF THE PLAZA March 17 2009

March 17, 2025 – 7:46 am

St. Patrick’s Day promised to be another disaster for the Retail Collection of the Plaza Hotel. Hordes of green-clad spectators streamed down the escalator into the basement. Their eyes averted the luxury goods on offer, as their destination was the hotel’s public bathroom. Within the first hour I had given directions to the toilet over […]

By Peter | Also posted in Bet On Crazy, ireland, NEW YORK, semi-fiction | Tagged , , , , | Comments (0)