Somehow when men from the West come to Pattaya they lose whatever manners their parents had beaten into their thick skulls during their dullard childhood. Bad behavior becomes almost a prerequisite for a good time. Drunkenness, rowdyism, and macho studity are usually forgiven by our Thai hosts and hostesses, but there is always a boundary past which a breach of etiquette veers from fun to criminal.

Go-Go bars in Pattaya are famed for the friendliness of the dancers. Their search for the golden buffalo necessitates their abandoning the natural conservativeness of Thai culture for a cheap grope or dtae ang from slobbering farang men. Not everyone in a go-go bar is on the game and several years ago a Swedish sex monger overstepped the lines of propriety at the Lucifer’s Discotheque, which is not a go-go.

The Swede had touched a woman’s behind, unaware that she merely sang for the establishment’s show band. The singer called the police and the men in brown showed up at Lucifer’s in force. The Swede protested with contrition, but the woman demanded that he be taught a lesson. The police handcuffed the Swede and dragged him to Pattaya Central Booking to be arraigned for the crime of groping.

At the Soi 9 police station the irate singer demanded his incarceration and the Swede was sentenced to a night in jail. The next morning the judge assessed a small fine and warned he didn’t want to see him again.

The Swede’s only defense was that he thought the singer was an ex-girlfriend, which means fondling ex-girlfriends is an old Nordic tradition as is a slap in the face.

Some men can’t keep their hands to themselves.

Then again I can’t recall another man before or since being arrested for that crime.

At least in Pattaya.