What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag.
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can’t stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What’s the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale?
A northern fairy tale begins “Once upon a time .” –
A southern fairy tale begins “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this s**t…..