“Pornography exists for the lonesome, the ugly, the fearful…It’s made for the losers.”

The writer Rita Mae Brown found an unexpected ally in the fight against pornography this week, when GOP presidential hopeful Rick Santorum declared war on Internet Pornography.

“America is suffering a pandemic of harm from pornography.”

This declaration of future hostility against purveyors of porn echoed the Bush Administration’s attempt to prosecute extreme obscenity. Conservatives were saddened by the Justice Department’s lack of vigor in pursuing this agenda and now hope Santorum will deliver on his promise to shut down porno on the Internet, on cable/satellite TV, and on hotel/motel TV as well as treat XXX viewers with puritan harshness in sentencing.

This task would require a mammoth effort, since over 41% of American males watch internet porno.

Millions of men would be prosecuted by his proposed edict and hundreds of thousands jailed for what is now not a crime.

With two million in prison at present, the convict population would explode with obscenity offenders, who for the most part inhabit GOP red states, but Santorum is willing to face that challenge based on the historical data on how the country has become sexually conservative during times of economic contraction.

Less money equals less erections.

Santorum will find the going tough, for pornography has long been seen as a bulwark of free speech. Supreme Court Judge Arthur Kennedy defended it in John D. Ashcroft, Attorney General, et al. v. Free Speech Coalition by writing the following;

“First Amendment freedoms are most in danger when the government seeks to control thought or to justify its laws for that impermissible end. The right to think is the beginning of freedom, and speech must be protected from the government because speech is the beginning of thought.”

1996 the court was more progressive than today, so if elected Santorum might win his day in court.

As for me, I watch pornography strictly for research, but to misquote Charlton Heston, “The government can have my pornography, when it pulls it from my sweaty palms.”

I’m certain that 95% of the 41% of the males watching porno feel the same way.

With our hands.