At Hurrah the Senders and Karen Bihari played tonight. Neither group were my favs, but Sen Cassette was the DJ and my friends and co-workers; Anthony, Grant, Idelles, Jim, Bop and many others celebrated their freedom from family holidays. Jhoury served me a vodka OJ. Before I took a sip, a hand grabbed my arm. A dark-haired female said, “Some day you’re going to be walking down the street and someone hopefully a lot of someones are going to beat the shit out of you.”
She was not a seeress, simply Donna Destri, whose brother Jimmy plays with Blondie and last month I had punched hard during my brawl with the group. I didn’t win the fight. Four on one, but I had seized his hair and righted him so hard that his hair came out in my fist.
She was still pissed at my parting insults to the group. Doesn’t she have anyone else to bother?
None of my friends noticed this spat. I explained my version of the fight. How I had asked them to leave several times and them when they ganged up on me I japped her brother. She hadn’t initially believe me, but I ordered her a drink. I had carte blanche with Jhoury. He wanted me bad and thought I was just playing hard to get. I finally quenched her anger not for fighting Blondie, but for insulting her.
“It wasn’t me. But it was me. I was angry. I shouldn’t have said anything about you. You weren’t involved. I’m sorry.”
She smiled and shook my hand.
“I wish you call on your friends to beat the shit out of me. I’m sometimes out of control.” I had discovered long ago that I am the master and slave of my emotions.
“We all are in this scene otherwise we wouldn’t be here.”
I could have fucked several of my old flames, their stares revealing a need. I ignored them and dance with my friends and Donna.
We had another few drinks and I might have asked her for a kiss, but I was still hurting from the holidays. Rejection and silence from Alice, regrets, failures, limbo all saying I was nothing. I said goodbye to Donna and left before the Senders hit the stage.
Back at 256 East 10th Street, I almost felt at home. More so when Alice will return on Sunday. She got stuck in Snowshoe by a blizzard. I wanted to drown my self in lust.This is the height of the Sexual Revolution. Nothing has stopped us from answering our desires, but Alice has become a virgin since missing her period and we haven’t fucked since in weeks. I think she might be a lesbian and isn’t used to fucking at least not as hard as I fuck her. I have leather dick and can’t cum. Many times I have to fake it. I know she is grateful for that deceit, although several times she has said, “I don’t feel any cum.”
It’s the same with other women.
I was more surprised to think she was pregnant. We’ll find out soon enough.
Back home I phoned my mother, “If I get some money, I’m going to propose to Alice.
“That is a good idea. She’s smart and she makes you happy.”
I tried to call Snowshoe, the ski resort in West Virginia. The hotel operator had gone off-duty. I want to say, “Calling room 314.” Instead I hung up and tried to materialize her from memories. Nothing other than her pleading, “Oh God.” as I fuck her in a cold indoor swimming pool on the Upper West Side.