No business as usual. Alice is working the Yogurt Shop. Neither of us got out of the city. I beg breakfast from Nora at Dojos. She gives it to me and lends me $5. I almost kiss her, but Alice’s friends are watching me.
I’m living an illusion thinking that money is coming my way. Work is the only solution to my present destitution. I go back to 256 and watch TV. Eight station showing nothing of interest.No movie. No sporting event. Nothing is getting too much of a hold on my life.
SEPTEMBER 4, 2021
I get up early to catch the Chinatown bus. I miss the first one and go for the second at 2pm. I almost felt like blowing off the trip, except I haven’t seen my family members for over a year.
Last summer I showed up at a Haymarket restaurant with signs of not having made it to the toilet in time. My younger sister was aghast at my condition. I was too, but her hectoring me on the phone for being late had delayed my zipping down my fly.
“I should have recognized that as a sign of alcoholism.”
“So should I have.”
I changed my jeans and headed north to meet Quinton and the fishing crew of Peak’s Island for a road trip across Maine. A week like those five days would kill be now, but back then I claimed to be indestructible and I felt alive. I feel alive now just more vulnerable than before.
