My 6th Grade nun once told a young girl mourning the disappearance of her Barbie Doll, “Everything you ever lost will be in heaven waiting for you in a special closet.”

These words stalled by apostasy a year, for I hoped for the comforting reunion with my wooden toy boat and one-eyed teddy bear in the after-life. Even as an adolescent atheist I prayed to St. Anthony to help find that which was lost, however as I aged year by year and lost more and more I realized that upon my arrival at the Pearly Gates I would be confronted with several hundreds of lost sox, scores of one lost gloves, tens of hats, a handful of wallets, many glasses, countless keys, and even more frighteningly the ghosts of so many girlfriends holding a glass slipper.

The horror of these confrontation reversed my wish and I preferred for everything to remained lost rather than be confronted in heaven by my losses on earth, plus as my Irish Nana said, “If you lose something, it wasn’t yours to begin with.”

I was quite comfortable with that thought for many years, until this summer on a long weekend in Easthampton my host, Billy Boy, said, “You know you left some boxes with me when you left for Thailand?”

“Errr no.”

“Go check it out.”

He opened his basement and sure enough there were 12 boxes which I had stored there in 2002.

These boxes contained; 1st edition JD Salinger and William Burroughs, two paintings of jean-Michel Basquiat, thousands of photos, my .38, a bag of weed, some prescription ‘ludes from 1974, love letters, moldy clothing, 2 signed Keith Haring postcards, and set of Wedgeware plates and bowls from 1941.

My teddy bear remained MIA and so was my toy boat, but I was grateful to the find.

“There is nothing like unexpectedly finding something from the past to make the present feel like it might hold some surprises in the future.”

Pascha Ray