Humphery Bogart immortalized the gaberdine trenchcoat in the 1942 film CASABLANCA. Millions of men have copied his style over the years with success, because a knee-length trench coat transformed most wearers into men and wowmne of mystery.

According to Wikipedia the trench coat offered an alternative to the heavy serge greatcoats worn by British and French soldiers in the First World War. Invention of the trench coat had been claimed by both Burberry and Aquascutum. I have one.

It is neither Burberry nor Aquascutum

I inherited the trenchcoat from my father.

It was made in Poland.

My friend Dave Henderson received a vintage Pierre Cardin trench coat for Christmas from his loving wife.

The vortex sculptor was very happy with this gift.

“I always wanted one.”

This afternoon rain pelted my windows. I had to go out into the weather to buy some groceries and tried on my old man’s trenchcoat without putting on my jeans. 42 was my size and I called Dave. He is over 50 and men over 50 answer their phones.

“It’s raining and thought of you. I’m wearing my trench coat without pants.” I was lying on my bed.

“A flasher.”

“Yes, and I was wondering if you wanted to join me? Nothing like flashing in stereo.” Wearing underwear kept my crime of public indecency PG.

“I’m sure, but I think I’ll give it a miss.” Dave had gone to a Swiss high school. His father had been in the government. He never knew which one, but they wore trench coats in the 50s.

“Happy New Year.”

“You too.”

I hung up and went to the bathroom.

I have a full-length mirror.

My hairy legs looked good in a trenchcoat, even with high black sox.

I practiced opening my trench coat.

Fort Greene beware.