In ancient times victorious armies castrated their vanquished foes to emphasize their superiority, however penile amputation has been a rarity in modern world with John Bobbit the last American male to suffer this catastrophic injury at the hands of his avenging wife, however Thai wives constantly threatened their husbands and boyfriends with ‘dtart ham’ and over the past ten years Thai medical authorities have record scores of sexual mutilation o philandering males in love with their mia nois or second wives.

Thai medical specialists are skilled with the removal of ladyboys’ ham or penis and have perfected the micro-surgery necessary to re-attach the severed members. Thai women have thwarted this rescue attempt by burying the detached penis in the sand or feeding it to ducks.

Pigs for some unknown reason won’t eat penis, but ducks will.

I’ve not heard of any farang males suffering a pectomy not that they are more faithful than Thai men.

All men are the dogs, so it’s only a matter of time before an irate Thai woman decockified a western man.

In case of penis amputation Thai doctors suggest the following steps to assure a successful re-attachment.

1) Don’t panic.
2) Find a piece of cloth, clean the cloth first and then press it hard on the wound to stop the blood.
3) Try to retrieve your severed member from wherever your angry partner had discarded it.
4) Wash it in clean water just like you wash chicken liver at the basin and keep it in a plastic bag – it can be kept this way for up to six hours.
5) If possible, keep the plastic bag in a container of iced water. This way it keeps for 24 hours.
6) Get to a hospital.

FAST and DO NOT LAUGH.

Lastly if you must have your peccadilloes, lock away all sharp items in the house before going to sleep and keep a weather eye open for any storm from your loving wife, for nah-lok or hell hath no fury like a Thai woman who has lost face and this fury is not restricted to Thai woman.

Four years ago a Greek woman set a British exhibitionist’s privates on fire with a splash of Sambucco at a nightclub and an American wife poured scalding water on her unfaithful husband’s penis.

So be vigilant, men. The penis you save might be your own.