Back in 1991 I had sex with a Thai woman, whom I had met at the Marine Disco in Pattaya. She writhed in passion with her bones crackling like popcorn. At the end of an hour the twenty-year old Isaan native said, “I finish many times. You #1.”

I tipped the free-lancer an extra 200 baht and was very proud of my stud accomplishment, until hearing the same line during several subsequent encounters with other Thai women set afire by the ardor of my devotion. The tips got smaller and smaller, for their praise was either the truth or a lie and I was man enough to admit that perhaps these women might have been faking their finish.

Ching ching or mai ching.

A 2008 survey stated that 70% of Thai women don’t experience an orgasm during sex.

They feel nothing, while 79% of Thai men say that they have good sex without caring about their partner’s needs.

Foreplay is taboo for most men and western females are in agreement with their Thai sister. Orgasm is a rare occurrence, due to their sex partners’ lack of foreplay, then again women have to realize that for most of a man’s sexually formative life, we are forbidden by girls to touch their breasts or any other erogenous zones, so that by the time women actually want foreplay we’ve been preconditioned to consider most of their erogenous zones as off-limits.

This theory comes from Nick Hornsby’s HIGH FIDELITY, but I have heard many Thai women swear that they never had an orgasm with their Thai boyfriend.

“He too quick. Only care for him.”

Also Thai women have a problem with feeling free, since good girls wouldn’t enjoy sex.

Only dok thongs or sluts like sex.

Not so, because while you can’t eat love, it sure fills the heart when two come together as one.

And I know, because no one ever fakes orgasm with me.

Not even me.