Last January the Old Roue and I stayed out later than planned in Bangkok and I stayed at a cheap hotel on Soi Nana rather than spend 1000 on a taxi back to Sriracha. In the morning I woke up wanting to to kill the cat, who fouled my mouth, then called Fenway’s mom, who asked, if we had a good time at the go-go bars. I groaned that I had got ‘mao ka’ or legless without explaining the main reason for my near-death experience was that the Old Roue and I had conducted a survey about farangs with the bar girls and go-go dancers of Nana Plaza.

The multi-floored quadrangle of bars attracts tourists from every country on Earth. Every language is spoken in the bars and go-gos. Some countries are more heavily represented than others. The Thai girls generally are even-handed with the generosity of their opinions, however there are favorite and conversely there are least liked nationalities. The Old Roue and I were not surprised by the results.

TOP FIVE
1. France – Good time and don’t have to speak too much English. Negative – Menh or smelly.
2. Norway – Free with the money and drink more than they should, so they pass out before sex.
3. Italy – More interested with drinking and speaking with their friends than paying attention to the girls, but a good time, since they are usually too drunk to have sex.
4. Swiss – Go to sleep early and let you go out with your friends ie boyfriend. Very trusting.
5. UK – There are a lot of them. Volume overwhelms any of their numerous bad points.
WORST FIVE
1. India – Smell and cheap
2. Israeli – Dirtier and cheaper
3. Italy – Smell
4. UK – Smell and there are a lot of them.
5. USA – Smell and they are fat and cheap too and think they own the world. Farang kee-nio.
The reasons for these decisions were based on good time, free-spending, and not asking too many questions. Not bathing was a problem for several groups as well as jealousy, which put the Italians in the worst and best categories.
A final consensus was that the girls liked older good-looking men with money. They also liked fat men, since they were warm in bed and had bigger members than their previous boyfriends.
Young men were considered too much of a problem, because they wanted too much sex and smelled bad.

I guess we all smell bad, but no one worst than the Indians, but the old Roue and I knew that all along, because sex has matters not to bar girls.

It’s all love.

Trust me.

I know.