The press loves nothing more than a good sex scandal and the media have dedicated time and money in order to get to the bottom of the Secret Service Cartagena sexcapade.

BBC reports that at least twenty women were involved in the episode along with US military personnel. Maine Senator Susan Collins, briefed by the Secret Service director, said 20 women were found at the US hotel and also questioned the director over the phone.

“Who were these women? Could they have been members of groups hostile to the United States? Could they have planted bugs, disabled weapons, or… jeopardized the security of the president or our country?”

I have the answers to those questions.

First they were working girls.

Secondly no they were not a danger

Thirdly they planted nothing. The agents did the seed planting.

Of course none of this would have come to light, if an agent hadn’t tried to shift his ‘escort’.

Originally the NY POST had reported that the argument over money had been for $47.

The NY Times investigators announced in today’s edition that the price was $250. The agent gave her $30. His friends ponied up another $100 meaning the ‘escort’ was shorted $120 for services rendered. It will cost the agent more than that, once more proving the the old adage.

“You don’t pay a hooker for sex, you pay her to go away.”

Ain’t that the truth.

ps

A man is walking down the street and is really horny. He goes to the first brothel he sees but only has five dollars, so they kick him out.

The man goes to the next one. But, since he only has five dollars, he gets kicked out again.

So by this time, he’s really super horny, so he goes to the next one and says, “Look, I only have five dollars. I’m really horny, and I need a blow-job for 5 dollars!”

The madam there says, “For five dollars, all we can give you a penguin.”

“What’s a penguin?”

“You’ll see.”

So, the madam takes the $5 and leads the horny man to a bedroom. He unzips his pants, and waits for his “penguin.” Soon, a prostitute comes in and starts giving the man a blow job. Just
as he’s about to let loose, she stops and walks away.

The horny man waddles after her, with his pants at his ankles, shouting, “HEY! WHAT’S ABOUT THE PENGUIN?!”