Last year astronomers downgraded Pluto or as its known by its formal designation 134340 Pluto from a planet to a dwarf planet. Its low mass was a problem, especially since beyond the Solar System larger objects orbit the Sun. Some scientists were not so quick to accept the IAU’s finding against Pluto and its three satellites; Charon, Nix, and Hydra. The public also questioned the validity of the scientific body’s decision. California called the decision ‘heresy’ and New Mexico passed a resolution in honor of Pluto’s discoverer and native son Clyde Tombaugh to affirm that Pluto would always be a planet while over the skies of the Enchanted State.
A few skeptics espied a more sinister aspect to the IAU’s celestial coup de Pluto.
With Pluto out of the way the religionists could plot the date of the Grand Planetary Alignment in accordance with Mayan prophecy as to the End of Times. Doomsayers have predicted the actual date of The End to be December 21, 2012 or 12-21-2012. Andy the security guard at the diamond exchange has warned non-believers that the magnetic pull of the planets will knock Earth off its axis.
“South will be West and East will be North.” Andy served in Vietnam. He has seen death. The End is not the opening song in APOCALYPSE NOW. “The clock is ticking.”
Andy is not alone in his affinity for The End. Millions of his religionists are praying for the Event to spur the 2nd Coming of their Messiah, the Ugly Son of god, however last month the date of The End was pushed forward by a biblical conjurer from California arguing against the 2012 termination of all things good, bad, and in-between.
“That date has not one stitch of biblical authority,” laughed the head of Oakland’s Family Radio, whose math calculations coupled with prophecies from the Good Book have guided his determination. “It’s like a fairy tale. The real end of times is 2011. May 21, 2011 to be exact.”
That date is a little more than three months away and last week I spotted a group of doom-believers marching down the sidewalk of 5th Avenue. Placards were attached to the bodies of Mayan men.
“Repent. May 21, 2011 is nigh.”
Pedestrians ignore the warning just like the inhabitants of Sodom and Gomorrah. I shouted for them to take their shit to Kansas or any of the other square farm states or South of the Mason Dixon line. If The End is on May 21, 2011, then I’m quitting work on May day and flying East to be with my family. We will see out the End of Times drinking beer, for after May 21, 2011 the Book of Revelations predicts five tough months until the real End.
“And to them it was given that they should not kill them, but that they should be tormented five months: and their torment was as the torment of a scorpion, when he striketh a man.” Revelation 9:5
The Thais love eating scorpions.
Bible-thumpers are not welcome on my soi. The Thais call the missionaries ‘ET’ because they don’t sweat in their white shirts and ties. I tell the Thais that these religionists are dangerous and the greatest threat is their all-consuming ignorance.
The founder of Family Radio has listed the most important events in history as the following;
11,013 BC—Creation. God created the world and man (Adam and Eve).
4990 BC—The flood of Noah’s day. All perished in a worldwide flood. Only Noah, his wife, and his 3 sons and their wives survived in the ark (6023 years from creation).
7 BC—The year Jesus Christ was born (11,006 years from creation).
33 AD—The year Jesus Christ was crucified and the church age began (11,045 years from creation; 5023 calendar years from the flood).
1988 AD—This year ended the church age and began the great tribulation period of 23 years (13,000 years from creation).
1994 AD—On September 7th, the first 2300-day period of the great tribulation came to an end and the latter rain began, commencing God’s plan to save a great multitude of people outside of the churches (13,006 years from creation).
2011 AD—On May 21st, Judgment Day will begin and the rapture (the taking up into heaven of God’s elect people) will occur at the end of the 23-year great tribulation. On October 21st, the world will be destroyed by fire (7000 years from the flood; 13,023 years from creation).
2011 is 7000 years after the Deluge.
And while their god promised to never flood the Earth again, the seas are rising around the world thanks to the rapacious progress of globalization. Food is scarce due to crop failures. Dictatorships are falling in the Middle East. Sin is a sales technique for the multi-nationals. Greed is rampant. The rich are very rich and the poor are many.
The situation looks bleak for Mankind, but there is no grand alignment of the planets scheduled for 2011 or 2012.
Then again the reilgionists’ god is a cruel god.
Yahweh pogromed the 1st born of Egypt without mercy.
Jehovah killed Job’s family.
The bad god also turned Lot’s wife into salt. A good god would have chosen gold.
And the motherfucker has no education or watch, so beware of May 21, 2011.
To err is human, to err all the time is the right of a god or the very rich. – Pascha Ray, blasphemer.