“Fans of antique erotica, rejoice. The world’s largest collection of pornography is about to be published on the web. Just make sure you have a credit card handy.
The Vatican Secret Archives announced yesterday plans to digitalize a previously unacknowledged collection of prohibited materials.
Kept hidden by an act of pontifical secrecy, the items, once decreed obscene, are being unveiled as part of a new papal directive on transparency.
The collection includes tens of thousands of drawings, frescoes, engravings, artifacts, and ephemera dating from the Renaissance back to classical antiquity.
Included in the materials available for a free but censored preview are an illuminated manuscript depicting the Song of Solomon and several illustrations of Mary Magdalene.
Profits to Defray Bankrupt Dioceses.
Costs and pricing for full access to the online collection have not been finalized. Income generated from paying subscribers will be set aside in a special account administered by the Catholic Church.
The account will be used to reimburse losses by churches that have declared bankruptcy to eliminate their obligation to pay court judgments in sexual abuse cases.
Government, Industry Experts to Oversee Project
Funding for the collection’s digitalization has been procured via an executive order from Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi, who has expressed a strong interest in “protecting our priceless cultural heritage.” Berlusconi has appointed a confidential liaison to oversee the process.
Age verification, credit card processing, and account maintenance will be run by adult entertainment magnate Larry Flynnt.”
The Vatican and BBC-News quickly disclaimed the announcement as a hoax, for despite constant rumors of the Secret Library within St Peter’s Basilica the Papal Office has denied the existence of such a treasure trove of trash.
Of course it was an April Fool’s Hoax, which comes from the pagan holiday of Hilaria.
March 25 instead of April 1.
Next year I’ll be ready for Hilaria as will the rest of the pagan nation.