Flying Thai Air from New York to Bangkok was a pleasure in the 1980s. New 747s, good food, generous servings of alcoholic beverage, and beautiful Thai stewardesses. Airlines hired these goddesses with the strategy that the girls married by the age of 25 to free up the hostess ranks for younger acolytes of the air. This unspoken policy worked well until flight attendants realized that their mothers could tend to their children, while they traveled the globe to earn a reasonable income. The 747s aged over the years as did the stewardesses. Service declined with their increasing waist size and last week Thai Airways announced that all flight attendants must comply with waistline and Body-Mass Index or BMI guidelines or be exiled from the sky.

Stewardesses and stewards immediately lodged a complaint with the Labor Court saying that this enforced weight loss plan threatened their health. Thai Airways countered that overweight flight attendants cost the airline in extra fuel costs. The Court accepted the petition, but has yet to decide whether they will issue a ruling pro or con.

I haven’t flown Thai Airways in ages. The 747s are ancient, the tickets are overpriced, the food is miserable, and the flight staff rude and discourteous, plus they are stingy with the drink. Once a perennial top ten favorite carrier, Thai Air languishes at # 26 and the executives have chosen to point their fingers at the pum-poi air stewardesses as a major cause of the airline’s failing rather than look in the mirror.

The rich are blind to blame, but the big brains at the helm of the Thai flagship airline have decided to hire skinny ka-toeys or lady boys to combat the females of extra weight.

Wait till those girls hit the TSA security lines at JFK.

Everyone will want to feel up a Thai ‘shim’.

They are so much fun.

“Hello, sexy man.”

That cry will fill the 747s to the brim.

And then the big people at Thai Airways will be so smart again.

Like all rich people.