May 14 2004

www.mangosauce.com stopped publishing new entries in 2007. Its wit and poignant insights of Thai life were invaluable to farangs and still are appreciated by long-time fans such as myself. Non morituri te salutant. or ‘those who are not about to die salute you’.

I love Latin.

May 14 2004

Mango Sauce reader Nick has concocted the last word in sick-buffalo stories.

Dear Bill

I love you and I miss you too much. my friend bar say you old man look same same monkey but I know you hansum man I have problem I write you before that buffalo me sick Now it die Fall down and dead in middle rice field. Bad fortune when it fall it fall on papa and break leg he three place Now he not work Brother me make stretcher bamboo he take from roof house Roof come down and rain in house He take papa to hospital motorcycle Have big accident when he come home hit police car Police say brother me blame Police say he pay big money. not worry darling motorcycle OK but Police car bad broken Bad luck make Mama heart problem. Doctor say she must triple by-pass. I no understand but brother say you understand.

You know darling I only work in bar and not go with man I wait for you come back Bangkok but if you no help me I fuck many many many many many farang get pay bills money.

Old people my village say you responsible if you send money me before buy medicine sick buffalo then it no die papa no break leg house have roof brother no ride into police car Mama no have heart problem.

Please send me 200,000 baht for my bank. Papa fix 10,000 new roof 30,000, new police car 100,000, mama fix 50,000. I take off 2,000 baht for sell buffalo meat but me have to pay more hospital bill for 24 people have problem eat contaminated meat 12,000 baht. I not know money England but my brother me say me it 71.2424 mid-market rate close of trading yesterday This means you send me 10,000 your pound

I love you darling

Noi