Richie Boy gave me the keys to his LandRover this weekend.
“It’s an $80,000 car. Don’t smash it up.”
‘Smash it up?’
I haven’t had a car accident in over three decades. My last motorcycle accident two years ago almost tore off my forearm. Those don’t count with cars, although this spring driving along the Mississippi I fell asleep at the wheel of our rented car. The blare of horns from the oncoming cars woke me from my slumber in time to veer from harm’s path. A close call.
None occurred this Labor Day Weekend.
My eyes were weary on the return from Montauk. Too much traffic at the various tourist villages. I called Deb Parker. She lives in the North Country. White trash territory. Normally the ex-bar owner answered the phone in several seconds. She took her time on this occasion. Finally I head her voice over the sound of a buzz saw.
“Where are you?”
“At the Columbia County Demo Derby.”
“Demo Derby?” ABC’s Wide World of Sports featured Demo Derbies on Saturday. Drag Racing too. “I haven’t been to a demo Derby since 1969.”
“That’s 40 years ago.”
“Cars since getting smashed up.”
“Yep.” Deb came from Westchester County, but like country. She was friends with Merle Haggard. Once Deb picked me up at the airport. I was arriving in the USA with a heavy heart. A failed romance with a Thai bargirl. 2001. Deb was all ears.
“Any Jap cars?”
“None.”
“Any Hummers?”
“Just pieces of shit.”
“My last time was in Norwood Arena.” The race track was outside Boston. Drag racing, dirt track, and demo derbies. A boy’s dreamland. “I was there with my schoolmates. 6 of us in Dave Quann’s Cougar. Another boy from my hometown, Joe Tully, was also at the arena. He had driven his family’s station wagon. So had we. His was a Chevy with a 327 engine. Ours was a Ford. Neither were built for racing. We drank beers for the first couple of heats, then noticed Joe wasn’t around. None of us thought much about it, until the next heat was announced and Joe drove out in his family station wagon. His friends and mine gave him a standing O. The checkered flag was waved to the competitors and Dave’s car circled the arena. He was broadsided by two car on his fort time through the figure 8. We died laughing. Everyone had to fit in Dave Quann’s Cougar. Joe was sent to military school after that. Went to Viet-Nam in 1971. Came back and married the prettiest girl in town. He still tells the story about the demo derby. We all laugh too.”
“Men will be boys.” Deb had seen it all. She knew what men were. Her son’s name was Earl.
“And proud of it too.”
My son’s name is Fenway.
Like the park.
Get your motors running.