Anti-temperance zealots were dismayed to discover that NASA astronauts routinely blasted off from Cape Kennedy in a state of inebriation. This need for self-medication should come as no surprise, since no sane or sober person would sit atop a million gallons of highly explosive fuel to attain orbit in Space. Do-gooders have imposed a zero-alcohol policy for the Final Frontier and the Bush regime pushed through the same edict on the men and women serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. No alcohol in the war zone to avoid offending the local population.
Alcohol is strictly prohibited by the Koran.
Sober overseas, the Army has recognized a sharp increase in alcohol abuse within the ranks.
“We’re seeing a lot of alcohol consumption.” One general told him staff and the blame for this surge fell on the stress of fighting an eight year war. The Army claims only 1% of the troops are drinking heavy. The numbers are probably much higher.
“Wouldn’t be if they could drink on the job.” My friend Nick had served with the royal Navy. Sailors were given a daily rum ration. Soldiers in previous wars fought drunk. US Grant was a noted heavy drinker. No one could force me to charge an enemy sober, which is why I never joined the armed forces.
That and having to wake up early and let people you don’t know shout at you.
The Army of One needs a drink.
Marines too.
Better drunk than suicide.