The Dow Jones approached my earlier prediction of 7500 on Friday. Today true believers in capitalism threw away their panic buttons and threw cash at the Stock market, pushing the DJ up over 9200. Many analysts attributed the optimism to the emergency meeting of the G-8, however my cousin Robbo, an investment banker, is offered a more rational explanation.

“The Daily News reported that the call girls of Manhattan are still doing good business and if the world’s oldest profession can survive the scare of the last weeks, then so can Wall Street.”

“But the call girls are actually selling something.’

“I didn’t say it was perfect, but if there was stocks in prostitution I’d bet the house on it. Guys are horny when times are good and horny when times are bad. Just the way they are.” Robbo had been entertaining his clients at lap-dancing bars. “Those days are over, but they all like a hooker in their bedroom. As long as she can keep her mouth shut at the right moment.”

“So they’re still paying $1000/hour.”

“No way.” His clients had been big spender. Now they’re a little more cost-driven. “They’re getting hookers for $240/hour, but most of them only go for the half-hour. Times have changed, but everyone will be happy tonight with the ‘surge’. So maybe they’ll be big spenders again.”

“I’m predicting 6500 by Christmas.” The same idiots who led us into this mess are at the helm. I have complete faith in them to fuck up again.

“It’s still going up.” Wall Street had yet to ring the bell. “And it’s not going down again.”

He was in a good mood and I had no idea where the Stock Market was going.

Certainly not 0000

At least not today.