Pattaya’s a great town for freedom of the human spirit. You can do almost anything you want without incurring the attention of the police as long as you misbehave in a discreet manner.

Example; I came out of my cul-de-sac onto Soi Bongkot. It was a little past dawn. A mini-van was stopped on the road and the driver was examining damage from a motorscooter hitting his vehicle. the guilty party was a karaoke boy with a poofed-up haircut. He was drunk and his passenger, a bookend rent-boy, was holding a bottle of whiskey. The police drove by and didn’t stop, obviously en route to a more pressing encounter with lawbreakers.

Freedom as opposed to China, which hoisted the Land of No flag this week with a list of 57 Dos and Don’ts for the Beijing Olympics published in Chinese, although applicable for gwai-lo or foreigners too.

Beermas has been suspended with the ban on public or private drunkenness. No serial killings allowed thanks to the prohibition of guns. Masturbation will be difficult without pornography and no drugs nowhere, except on the playing fields.

Passports must be on your possession at all times, especially when you’re asleep, since the dormant mind is most prone to bad thoughts.

Spontaneous public demonstrations will be suppressed by the police, so watch out for victory celebrating fans to get water-cannoned by grim-faced security agents. Any mention of Tibet will be met with instant downgrade of your flight home to chains and mouth clamp, which will make the ‘no spitting’ rule much easier to enforce.

Other don’ts are eating while you walk, which should help most American tourists lose weight, queue cutting, a favorite fun sport for the Chinese, who think it’s alright to cut in front of foreigners since you really should be in China in the first place and the classic staring at a westerner. This visual phenomena will be difficult for the Chinese who have never really seen really fat Americans.

They may be one billion, but don’t weigh as much as 300,000,000 Americans. USA USA USA.

Prostitution is also under interdiction for the Olympics, except for the economic whoring to Nike, Coca-Cola, and McDonalds.

Over 80,000 police will be enforcing the 57 flavors of No throughout the Olympics. Unfortunately I can’t find the full list. I’m not going, but if I had the money to go, then I would head to Pattaya. Watching the synchronized swimming with ladyboys has to be more fun than being in the Land of Doctor No.

Oh, yes, one more thing, spitting is the national sport of China and hawking is its national mating song.

Isn’t the national anthem KUNG FU FIGHTING?

For a related article click on this URL

https://www.mangozeen.com/jocko-weyland-beijing-challenge-2008.htm