Pattaya’s new mayor and his 24 newly elected councillors celebrated their elecetion with a brilliant new campaign to improve the city of Pattaya.

Here’s seven of the ideas spawn from the brainstorming session on June 2

1)Providing four car parks for large tour buses to prevent them entering the city.

This innovation would free pedestrians from the fear of being run over by a bus loaded with Chinese day-trippers and prevent bus from slamming into inconviently parked cars on the smaller sois. Car parks will be located next to shopping malls owned by family of the city council for easy access to shopping and transportation from the parking lots will be provided by city council clans driving smaller buses owned by citizens untainted by dark forces. 

2)The adjustment of traffic lights and traffic lanes.

Traffic lights will be controlled more scruplously by the cops who will have the right to accept payment for a change from red to green and traffic lanes will be assigned to special buses owned by the city council family members transporting the Chinese day tripper from the shopping malls on the city’s outskirts.

3)To close Pattaya Beach Road to traffic from Friday to Sunday.

Except for buses owned by city council family members transporting the Chinese day tripper from the shopping malls on the city’s outskirts.

4)A closer control of entertainment outlets and other places such as Internet cafes.

This will help assess their attraction to Chinese day trippers transported by the city council’s family members.

5)The management of public places in accordance with official regulations.

This will insure the freedom of movement for city council family members transporting the Chinese day tripper from the shopping malls on the city’s outskirts.

6)Better security of lives and property for residents and visitors.

No more theft by Chinese day trippers since they will be transported by city council family members from the shopping malls on the city’s outskirts.

7) Efficient collection and disposal of garbage and wastewater.

Covered by a 100 baht increase which will help finance the purchase of the smaller buses use by city council family members transporting the Chinese day tripper from the shopping malls on the city’s outskirts.

It’s going to be a happier Pattaya. I just know it will.

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