Thai etiquette

Whether visiting or living in Thailand an understanding of Thai customs and culture can open doors to a world beyond the the temples, shopping malls, and beaches.

Thai value systems regarding dress, social behavior, religion, authority figures, and sexuality are much more conservative than those of the average Westerner. Although the Thais are an extremely tolerant and forgiving race of people blessed with a gentle religion and an easygoing approach to life, visitors would do well to observe proper social customs to avoid embarrassment and misunderstanding.

Thai people are extremely polite and their behavior is tightly controlled by etiquette, much of it based on their Buddhist religion. It is a non confrontational society, in which public dispute or criticism is to be avoided at all costs. To show anger or impatience or to raise your voice is s sign of weakness and lack of mental control. It is also counter productive, since the Thai who will smile, embarrassed by your outburst of anger or frustration is far less likely to be helpful than if you had kept better control of your emotions.

Revealing clothing, worn by either men or women, is a little disgusting to most Thais. Short shorts, low cut dresses and T-shirts and skimpy bathing suits come into this category. In temples, long trousers or skirts must be worn, and monks should on no account be touched in any way by women. Shoes should always be removed when entering temples and private houses. For this reason, most Thais wear slip-on shoes to avoid constantly tying and untying laces.

The head is the most sacred part of the body, so should not be touched. The feet are the least sacred, so when sitting they should not point at anyone – most Thais sit on the floor with their feet tucked under their bodies behind them. To point, particularly with foot, is extremely insulting.

Avoid touching Thai people, it is too intimate a gesture and an invasion of personal space.

When eating, it is considered very rude to blow your nose or to lick you fingers. The right hand must be used to pick up food eaten with the fingers.

Clothing from the lower parts of the body should never be left anywhere in a high position. This applies particularly to socks and underwear, but also to shorts and skirts. This is the case even when washing and drying clothes. Thais have two clothes lines – a high one for most clothes and a low one for underwear and socks.

Thais do not traditionally shake hand, the wai is the usual greeting. The hands are placed together as in prayer, and raised upwards towards the face, while the head is lowered in a slight bow. The height to which the hands should be raised depends on the status of the person you are waiing. In the case of monks, dignitaries and old people the hands are raised to the bridge of the nose, with equals only as far as the chest. Young people and inferiors are not waid, but nodded slightly to. You will be regarded as a little foolish should you wai to them.

When you consider that shaking hands, and kissing, are perhaps the easiest means of passing germs, the wai, is in fact a suitable greeting.

It is easy, entering a foreign culture for the first time, to make mistakes in etiquette. If you do so, just smile, wai the person you may have offended, and you are forgiven.

Thais are famous for their smiles.  The Thai smile can say many things. Thais smile when they are happy, amused, embarrassed, uncertain, wrong, annoyed or furious. As westerners, we are not generally able to interpret the type of smile we are receiving but be aware that it may not mean what you think it means. 

Modest dress
A clean and conservative appearance is absolutely necessary when dealing with border officials, customs clerks, local police, and bureaucrats. A great deal of ill feeling has been generated by travelers who dress immodestly. When in doubt, look at the locals an dress as they do.

Shorts are considered improper and low-class attire in Thailand, only acceptable for schoolchildren, street beggars, and common laborers …not wealthy tourists! Except at beach resorts, you should never wear skimpy shorts, halter tops, low-cut blouses, or anything else that will offend the locals. Long slacks and a collared shirt are recommended for men in urban environments. Women should keep well covered. Swim-wear is only acceptable on the beach.

Emotions
Face is very important in Thailand. Candor and emotional honesty – qualities highly prized in some Western societies – are considered embarrassing and counterproductive in the East. Never lose your temper or raise your voice no matter how frustrating or desperate the situation. Only patience, humor, and jai yen ( cool heart ) bring results in Thailand.

The use of the word ‘heart'( jai ) is very common in the Thai language, here are but a few examples; jai lorn – angry, nam jai – feelings, nork jai – unfaithful ( adulterous ) jai dee – good hearted, jai dum – black hearted, 

Personal space
Thai anatomy has its own special considerations. Thais believe that the head – the most sacred part of the body – is inhabited by the kwan, the spiritual force of life. Never pat a Thai on the head even in the friendliest of circumstances. Standing over someone older, wiser, or more enlightened than yourself – is also considered rude behavior since it implies social superiority. As a sign of courtesy, lower your head as you pass a group of people. When in doubt, watch the Thais.

Conversely, the foot is considered the lowest and dirtiest part of the body. The worst possible insult to a Thai is to point your unholy foot at his sacred head. Keep your feet under control; fold them underneath when sitting down, don’t point them toward another person, and never place your feet on a coffee table.

The left hand is also unclean and should not be used to eat, receive gifts, or shake hands. Aggressive stances such as crossed arms or waving your arms are also consider boorish.

A graceful welcome
Thailand’s traditional form of greeting is the wai, a lovely prayer-like gesture accompanied with a little head nodding. Social status is indicated by the height of your wai and depth of your bow: inferiors initiate the wai, while superiors return the wai with just a smile, under no circumstances should you wai waitresses, children, or clerks-this only makes you look ridiculous! Save your respect for royalty, monks, and immigration officials.

The ‘wai’ can be used to great effect on foreigners. Imagine if you will that you have just arrived from a delayed 12 hour flight, you are hot, tired, and somewhat short tempered. You arrive at your hotel to be greeted by the beautiful ‘wai’, this graceful unexpected gesture can easily dispel your short temper, making you content ( sabai jai ) 

Do

Smile. Greet people. It is almost impossible to be overly friendly. You will be amazed at how many will remember your name if you give it.

Don’t

Don’t take offence at questions like “Are you married?” “How much money do you earn?”, “How old are you?”. No harm is meant by these queries and this is how they relate to one another.

Do

Try to eat Thai food. It’s not all spicy. Order a few dishes with some steamed rice and share them. That’s the way Thais eat.

Don’t

Get annoyed if all the dishes you order don’t come at the same time. Since Thais usually share everything they order, it doesn’t matter to them which item comes out first.

Do

Fuss over little children and let other people fuss over yours.

Don’t

Be surprised if a group of strangers pick up and cuddle your baby, passing him around with “oohs”, “aahs” and kisses.

Do

Be patient and stay calm in trying situations. If you lose your cool, you lose people’s respect.

Don’t

Insist loudly on having your way. Try to win the day with quiet perseverance. It’s much more effective in Thailand.

Do

Remove your shoes before entering a dwelling, a temple or a shop. If in doubt, look for the presence of others’ shoes at the entrance.

Don’t

Point your foot at anyone who is not an intimate acquaintance, or place it near them. Feet are considered unclean, and this is extremely insulting.

Thai Cultural Artwork

Do

Leave a small tip if you were pleased with the service.

Don’t

Leave your loose satang (very small change) as a tip. Like most places in the world, this is not an appropriate way to show your appreciation for good service.

Do

Be soft spoken and deferential with strangers.

Don’t

Be loud, aggressive or insistent with strangers. These characteristics are considered especially obnoxious and unforgivable.

Do

Learn something about the royal family and especially the King. The way in which he is loved and respected by his subjects will tell you something about them.

Don’t

Do anything that might be interpreted as showing disrespect for any member of the Royal Family. The repercussions will be immediate and serious.

Do

Dress presentably in the streets of a business area and when entering shops. Men and women who wish to respect the locals will wear a shirt at all times when away from beach and pool areas. Bathing suits are not appropriate attire in town. In particular, dress neatly if you are planning to enter a temple, bank, or government office.

Don’t

Go topless if you are a women. People will pretend they don’t notice, but some will be deeply offended and resentful, especially Muslims.

Do

Observe the temple code. Womens should have shoulders covered and both sexes avoid scanty shorts. Shoes ALWAYS be removed before entering any religious building.

 

There are many other habits of etiquette which the foreigner will do well to observe, the most important being to avoid loss of face by losing your temper. The feet are considered dirty and should not be pointed directly at people or raised; shoes are usually never worn in indoor living areas and the head is sanctified, so avoid touching someone else on the head, unless they are an intimate friend. Contrary to popular impression, Thais are quite conservative and expect visitors to dress appropriately in formal public places. They are also discreet about showing affection, especially in public. Holding hands is considered taboo among the older generation.

 

While Westerners tend to pick up subtleness in tone of voice to indicate someone’s mood, Thais read more into your body language and approach. Emphasis is usually placed on passiveness and although they are used to foreigners being abrupt, it pays to smile constantly and go gently. Eye contact is a common and important method of placing strangers at ease and there is good reason why Thailand is known as ‘the land of smiles’. The Thai are incredibly patient and forgiving in an imperfect society and are happy to accept things as they are. The best you can do as a foreigner is to offer a soft laugh in testing situations, and say ‘mai pen rai’ (never mind) – a frequently used excuse.

 

The don’ts of everyday Thai social behavior are less clearly defined than those concerning the monarchy or religion, especially in Bangkok where Western customs are widely accepted. However, what is acceptable in Bangkok may not be accepted in the countryside where traditions remain strong and are strictly adhered to.

Below are a few examples of customs to pay attention to while visiting Thailand:

  • Thais do not normally shake hands when they greet each other, but instead press the palms of their hands in a prayer-like gesture called a ‘wai’. Generally, a younger person should wai an older person, who will then return it. The Wai can also be used as a means of saying sorry, thank you, or to pay respect. A Thai person will often Wai as he approaches a temple, Buddha image, or other item of religious significance.

    If you are introduced to a Thai and that person Wais to you then you should return the Wai. Generally the younger person will Wai first, but the Wai of a small child is best returned by a big smile. If you receive a thank you Wai from an airline stewardess or after tipping a waitress it is inappropriate to return the Wai, but a smile is always welcome.

  • It is considered rude to use your foot for pointing, especially when pointing at a person. Thais regard their head as the highest part of the body and do not approve of touching anyone’s head, even in a friendly gesture. At social gatherings, young Thais go to considerable length to keep their head lower than those of their elders in order to avoid giving the impression of looking down on them. This is not always possible, of course, but it is the effort that counts.

  • Public displays of affection between men and women are frowned upon. You may see some young Thai couple holding hands but never kissing in public.

  • Losing one’s temper, especially in public, will likely achieve nothing. Thais see such displays as an indication of poor manners. Visitors will have more success in communicating by remaining calm and polite.

  • Do not be surprised if you are addressed by your first name, e.g. Mr. Bob or Ms. Mary. Thais refer to one another in this manner, usually with the title “Khun” (i.e. Mr., Mrs., or Ms.).

Someone is angry at you and they smile.

Someone is angry at you and they smile.

For a related article click on this URL

https://www.mangozeen.com/pattaya-bar-etiquette-lesson-2.htm

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