NOT THE NATION continues to scathe the stratosphere of Thai Life with its entertaining bizarro version of the now-defunct THE NATION’s new offering XPRESS. This is a fake story, but maybe Thais and farangs will believe the hoax easier than the manufactured truth.
http://www.notthenation.com/pages/news/getnews.php?id=457
BANGKOK – In a move that is being hailed by the business community but criticized by social activists and academics, the Crown Property Bureau announced today that it would tear down the popular Suan Lum Night Bazaar and lease the land to Central Pattana, PLC, for immediate conversion into a luxury mall and condominium complex, all as part of its strict observation of the new “Profit Insufficiency Theory.”
The new theory, a variation of the Sufficiency Theory that has been much-discussed but never adequately defined since its introduction by His Majesty King Bhumipol Adulyadej, is the creation of a committee of Crown Property Bureau accountants and an unnamed consulting firm, according to a CPB spokesperson. “Basically it concludes that if you’re not squeezing every last baht out your hard assets, then you’re suffering from insufficient profit,” he explained. “This insufficiency leads to an imbalance in the chi, or spirit, as well as an ‘energy block’ in the balance sheet, which causes a bad feeling among shareholders.”
With a recent Supreme Court decision removing the last legal obstacle, as well as the last hope of the estimated 3000 small-business owners who earn their livelihood at the popular tourist shopping and entertainment attraction, the Suan Lum Night Bazaar will be torn down in a matter of days “even if we need to drag them out by force,” the spokesperson added. The lease will then be turned over to Central Pattana, PLC, a family-controlled developer which made 7.6 billion baht in revenue in 2007 and over 1.65 billion baht in profit.
“Obviously we’re delighted that the Crown Property Bureau is following the noble and wise Profit-Insufficiency Theory,” said Central Pattana president Kobchai Chirathivat. “We at Central Pattana have been advocates of it for years. Making money is what matters, and having more money makes you better than those who don’t. This is the heart of Thai culture and the CPB exemplifies it better than anyone.”
Displaced business owners at Suan Lum remain highly skeptical of the new Profit Insufficiency Theory. “I borrowed 500,000 baht to build this business and was just starting to make a real profit,” complained Weeporn Ukrawit, who ran a small furniture store. “I was so proud of myself for being independent and sufficient – I thought that was the whole point. Now I’m told that Central’s profits are more important than mine? Why?”
Responding to these and other complaints, Kobchai was sympathetic. “They are free to apply for jobs at the new mall,” he offered. “We need about 300 full-time salespeople.”
The truth will set you free. A hoax will make you laugh.
For a related article click on this URL