Prior to his election in 2000, GW Bush’s single sojourn outside the USA was a tequila tasting trip to Mexico as Texas Governor. A Mescal hang-over and Montezuma’s Revenge taught the future-president a vaulable lesson. “Nothing like leaving America to prove it’s the best place in the world.”
During his two terms GW Bush has visited Japan, Korea, Red China, Jordan, Australia, the Philippines, India, Iraq, Indonesia, Singapore, Vietnam, Pakistan, Mongolia, Canada, Mexico, Peru, El Salvador, Brazil, Panama, Chile, Germany, France, Russia, Ireland, the Czech Republic, Denmark, Belgium, the Vatican, Latvia, Holland, Georgia, Austria, Hungary, Bulgaria, and Senegal. These international voyages have effectively broadened the world perspective for the notorious homebody, who once drawled, “If it ain’t at DisneyWorld, why bother?”
Because travel is part of the job and this week the USA needed to show the flag in the face of a deepening Chinese committment to control Africa’s resources. The State Departmetn recommended a 3 nation trip; Mali or Mail as it’s written on the official White House website, Benin ( the press flaks must have used ‘spellcheck’ for that spelling, and finally Tanzania for a scheduled 3-day stay where he was rightfully enthusiastically greeted for his involvement with AIDS and malaria eradication.
“I want to vist Tarzan’s birthplace.” He said over the microphone at the airport
Several minutes later a confused GW Bush also discovered that Tarzan didn’t really exist.
“What about Cheetah?” GW had read his obit.
“He was a pet chimp.”
GW had a hard time grappling that info-nugget as well as that the national anthem of Tanzania was not BIG BAD LEROY BROWN. “I thought everyone loved Jim Croce.”
The president hummed a few bars to the military band without success.
White guys can’t hum either.
I have to commend the president on not allowing the press corps to photograph him looking at his watch. “Three days? I thought it was three hours. I have a falling satellite to knock out of the sky.”
GW looked up at the sky fopr the falling spy satellite like the CIA had implanted telescopic vision into his eyes. He really was worried, however is lovely wife calmed down the homesick leader of the Free World with a promise of a safari.
“Lions, tigers, and bears.”
When a junior member of his entourage explained that tigers only came from Asia, the president was too quick to be caught in that trap. “What about the Detroit Tigers?”
He was joking and everyone laughed accordingly.
It’s great being GW Bush. respect, praise, and warm weather in Africa. He was cajoling Condeleeza Rice about having to get over here more often and wholeheartedly offered the president of Tanzania his expertise in economics. “You’ll have almost full employment here if you let us open some fast food chains and Wal-marts.”
No response yet.
For a related article click on this URL
https://www.mangozeen.com/where-am-i-miss-teen-america.htm
and vowed that his future internaitonal trips would only be at DisneyWorld.