On Boxing Day 2006 a pick-up truck narrowly missed my daughter. I confronted the driver at the end of the soi. The tattooed tapestry got out of his truck wearing sneakers or trainers. He was bigger than I thought and I was wearing the 2nd worst footwear for a fight.

Flip-flops.

The worst are cowboy boots which have no grip on the ground, although they are excellent for a post-victory stomping.

Certainly a step down would be bare feet coupled with being naked against attired opponents. The film EASTERN PROMISES has a fight scene in a London public steam bath. Viggo Mortensen, the Oscar-nominated supporting actor, takes on two Yugoslavian assassins without a stitch of clothing. I won’t tell you what happens, except no one gets killed by an ax.

Vincent Cassell plays the maniac son of a Russian mobster. I know him from Paris. He went to the Bains-Douches. His face reminded me that I had also fought naked.

I was at the Novotel-Les Halles with two porno starlettes. We were naked in the living room. The door opened for two motorcycle gang members. The Sharks. One was cool with the scene. The other, Jean-Jacques, was more proprietary. He slashed at me with a studded belt. I grabbed it before the clasp struck my head. He threw a punch. I ducked again. Not much choice. A few seconds later his friend separated us. He thought it was funny. Two men fighting over porno actresses.

“They don’t have boyfriends. Only partners.”

Jean-Jacques said he understood, except everytime afterwards he stared in my direction like he was planning murder. It had nothing to do with my being naked. I wasn’t his type.

Get EASTERN PROMISES

Every sin leaves a mark.

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