Bangkok Police are world-renowned for their steadfast vigilance against crime, however every police department has their rotten mangos. Most are investigated by Internal Affairs and exiled from the force. Rather than dispose of highly-trained officers, the Crime Suppression Division had decided to humiliate errant tam-ruat or cops by having them wearing pink ‘Hello Kitty’ armbands as a clear indication that this officer has been a bad boy.

The acting commissioner for crime suppression said, “Kitty is a cute icon for young girls. It’s not something macho police officers want covering their biceps.”

None of the ten armbands have been issued to offenders, partially because the ‘Hello Kitty’ patent holders have argued this is an inapporpriate use of their trademark. Stronger measures are being considered for corruption and extrajudicial killings.

Maybe having to wear a pink dress for accepting a bribe from a ka-toey and a pink night gown for sleeping on the job. The possibilities are endless.

Another criminal genius from the South Carolina prisons has instituted a policy of punishing prisoners for sexual activities in front of correctional officers by trading in the usual tan uniforms for a pink outfit. This punishment was in reaction to female officers’ complaints about exhibitionistic inmate sexual acts.

Time of sentence to pink uniform – 3 months.

No time off for good behavior.

My Uncle Carmine always thought that petty criminal should not be sent to prison but forced to wear clown outfits with big feet, so these transgressors of public safety could be treated like circus buffoons by the passing pedestrians.

If they were really bad, the police could hang a ‘kick me’ sign on their back.

The suits would have been like the plastic Sumo Wrestler suit, so the prisoners wouldn’t be subject to any physical harm.

Only psychological scarring.

The worse kind.

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