Charles Darwin’s SPECIES OF MAN fostered the theory of evolution ie that Man has earned his ascendancy through survival of the fittest, however my personal belief is that Man evolved from miscegenation not from apes, but several animal groups and judging from the size of tourists on the beaches of Pattaya, the most likely candidate would be the walrus.

Mustached slobs of fat sunning by the sea.

I also dispute survival of the fittest.

This spring a boy in a wheelchair was hooked by a semi-trailer’s bumper and driven 5 miles until the trucker realized the boy was on his grill.

Survival of the luckiest and each year the Darwin Awards chronicles Enterprising Demises to honor those humans improving the species by accidentally removing themselves from it.

See http://darwinawards.com/

Pattaya nominated a candidate this week.

A group of young men had been drinking beer near the Bali Hai Pier. One wewnt to answer a call of nature, but was electrocuted by touching a wire without insulation. DOA.

If he had been in the USA his grieving family could have sued the city for millions like the West Virginia man seeking $10.5 million from McDonald’s for not holding the cheese on his Big Mac.

The soi’s handyman almost joined the Darwin Awards when my next-door neighbor had his electricity cut for non-payment. It was a Friday. No chnace of the technicians coming until Monday. The Brit couldn’t stand being without his TV on which he watched porno and insisted that the handyman, a native of ban Nok, reconnect the wire. Noi was willing to give it a try for 200 baht. He got his trusty pliers and set them to the cut wire.

Jumping Noi Flash.

Sparks and an explosion.

Noi flew backwards into the bushes.

All the lights on the street went out.

Noi was smoking from the fingers and head.

“Mai jep.” He struggled to his feet, smelling like a pork satay.

I handed him my beer. The Brit cursed the electrical company and asked Noi to try again.

“Mai dai?” Noi’s wife shook her head and handed back the 200 baht.
The Brit stuck the money in his pocket. The lights flickered on the street and power returned to every house but the Brit’s. He asked if I could run a wire to his house. I said, “For 200 baht sure.”

“200 baht?” He didn’t consider this offer very neighborly.

“Otherwise go buy some candle.”

He grumbled and handed over the 200 baht. His porno addiction was infamous.

I gave it to Noi and said, “Go buy more beer.”

I ran an extension cord to my neighbor. He didn’t say thanks. For some reason my dog kept pulling out the plug throughout the night.

Survival of the fittest.

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