The world’s most famous prisoner was freed from LA Jail. A gauntlet of paparazzi greeted the blonde heiress outside the gates. She smiled with the proper contrition and boarded her grandmother’s SUV with a gracious wave to the crowd. The Press followed the Caddy Escalade a la Princess Diana. No one died in the frenzy then again no tunnels exist on the route to Beverly Hills.

Her first media appearance was on Larry King and she admitted to never having used drugs and that her jail stay was unfair, but also that Mr. God works in strange ways.

GOD?

What’s the Big Guy got to do with the Bad Girl?

Maybe she spent a lot of hard time on her knees. “Please God, I know I’ve been bad, but I promise to be good, if you get me out of here. I promise.”

Paris told Larry that she was eliminating the bad influence from her life and using Khmer Rouge techniques to X them from her cellphone. “The worst thing about jail was the food and the strip-search.”

Strip Search?

Not yet on Youtubes, but if they could air Saddam’s execution, some guard has to have rigged a cell camera to catch this action.

“Spread ’em, you bitch.”

A little KY and a magic digit explores your most private reaches for contraband.

Tears?

“Even though I hate it, I’m glad it happened in a way because this really changed my life forever, and I feel stronger than ever.”

So jail is good for you according to the millionairess, who hasn’t lost any appeal to the American public.

Poor Little Rich Girl.

I can see the movie now and best Paris gets to play herself or maybe Nicole Kidman.

Anyone but Jessica Alba.

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