Nothing riles the vagrant farang population more than a rumor about a tourist visa change. Forget the southern unrest, the coup, Thaksin, rising gas prices, the rains, or a stuttering economy. Any threat to these foreigners’ semi-illegal residence in the Land of Smiles is regarded as a danger worst than Global Warming.

The newest is that the immigration office will no longer accept tourist visa renewals based on a border crossing ie the old visa run. A German friend had heard this news from another German eavesdropping on a conversation between two Englishlouts.

“Starting in July you can only renew your tourist visa with a flight out of the country.” Jonas had been depending on these two-month visas for years.

“Doesn’t sound like they would do something like that.” Not everyone lives near an airport with international connections.

“Nein, this is another trick to get us out of here.” Jonas was a firm believer in the reality of a Thai conspiracy to rid the country of farangs, which is not a bad idea once you’ve ever gone out drinking in Pattaya.

“No way the immigration could handle a change like that.” Bureaucracies around the world uphold the status quo to avoid any work. Everyone would have to go to Cobra Swamp Airport for an out-going flight. No more visa runs to Cambodia or Laos or Burma or Malaysia.

“Easy for you to say. You’re on a retirement visa.”

“Yeah.” One of the few advantages to getting old. “I would spread this story or else there’ll be a panic.”

“Everyone will move to Cambodia.”

“I was in Cambodia last month. No way that country could support another 10,000 farangs or even 20,000.” Thailand has plenty of rumors based on hearsay and verified with beer talk. “I’m staying here.”

Jonas wasn’t leaving either, but if this rule came into effect, some westerners would have to leave. I went to my visa shiop to ask Kwam whether the story had any validity.

“You talk ghost visa. I no do.”

Ghost visa are when a visa shop sends your passport out of the country for a visa stamp. Immigration have gotten wise to this trick, mostly because they run it. Occasionally they stop long-stay farangs at the airport and ask how they left the country to get their visa.

The unprepared are move to a smaller room for questioning.

Those veterans of Thailand merely tell the story as they were told to tell it. “I flew to Hat Yai and left overland. Very dangerous.”

“No, I’m not talking about ghost visas, because I know you don’t do them.” I explained the rumor as told by Jonas.

“Ah, now understand.” Kwam picked up his phone. He spoke swiftly in Thai. After a minute he shut off the phone. “No, i talk to big man in Immigration. He say can not do. If someone want to leave by land, dai. by boat, dai. Up to him. Not Thai immigration.”

“So there’s no truth in the story?”

“No truth. Maybe 1% now. Later who knows.” Kwam dealt with uncertainty daily and bet the odds nothing stayed the same. “You tell friend nothing. Maybe he leave. Thailand have too many farang now. But you good man.”

“Thanks.” I had heard Kwam say this to many farangs. “I like you too.”

So for the moment visa runs are safe.

Long those long rides through the countryside to Ban Nullpart.

If it wasn’t for these border runs, most farangs would see nothing more than a bar in Thailand.

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