BABEL has received acclaim from Cannes and the Golden Globes. I purchased the DVD while waiting for lasagna at Fat Tony’s on the Jomtien Hill Road. I had pretty much seen everything else and the director’s earlier films AMORES PERROS and 21 GRAMS offered a different plotline than most Hollywood crap, so I returned home in hopes of killing two hours before sleep.

The film lasted about 22 minutes thanks to the magic of the remote control. González Iñárritu had previously enraptured the audience with his convoluted expose of how people’s lifes intertwine if only for a second, BABEL was about as entertaining of a bus ride across Nebraska.

The acting was brilliant, however the director relied on long atmospheric scenes, which had my thumb gunning the FF button like a drag racer burning the green go light.

The story starts out with two Moroccan kids shooting up a tourist bus. When I was a child I would sit in my grandmother’s attic and aim my grandfather’s Remington at the passing cars. Pulling the trigger, the hammer clacked on an empty chamber unlike the movie. A good shot hits a blonde American woman who’s married to Brad Pitt. She is such a whiner, I raced through her scenes without bothering to hear the dialogue about their kids, who have been left with the Mexican house maid.

Wait a second.

What parents leave their kids with maid?

No wonder their baby died of SIDS.

The maid needs to go to a wedding and takes the kids to Mexico, where they are stopped by immigration on the way back and the kids and maid have to run into the desert. HUH?

Better is the sexy deaf-mute Japanese teenager, who doesn’t wear any underwear. Her father is the one who gave the gun to the Moroccans’

See how it all connects?

Maybe I’ll watch BABEL again when my boredom factor is lower.

AMORE PERROS on the other hand was a great movie about dog-fighting, punks, and guns. Arf Arf. Bloodshed and car wrecks. Can’t get a Mexican film much better than AMORES PERROS unless it’s from Luis Bunuel.

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