Miss Czech Republic took the crown in the Miss World pageant yesterday in Poland. The event was held in the Palace of Culture, a masterpiece of stalinist architecture, which was tarted up for the event. Old Joe Stalin must be rolling in his grave and feminists stuck to tradition calling the beauty contest a cattle show. Pageant organizers realize the sensitivity of women and used a sash to cover up Warsaw’s symbol, a half naked mermaid.

This Talibanesque move did not help the Muslim countries. No representatives to Warsaw were present, although organziers said they would accept contestants wearing a chador.

The highlight of the pageant was the confrontation between Miss Lebanon and Miss Israel. Everyone expected a punch-up, however the two beauties smiled and kept their eyes on the crown.

Neither placed in the top ten, but viewing the winner and the runners-up, Miss Oz and Miss Transylvannia I had to ask msyelf if the beauty in the eye of the beholder shouldn’t be revise to include women who don’t replicate the body dimensions of a Barbie doll.

Miss Transylvannia was also under 18 making the show possibly child porno in the USA.

The USA contestant was a dog, but what can you expect from the land of the unlaid, where no one has had sex in america since 9/11 and anyone under the borderline of obesity is considered a freak of nature.

Miss Mongolia had some folks scratching their heads about the possiblilty of the gender bender entry.

Finally folks in thailand were disappointed by the entry of theri contestant and wondered when they will be able to enter a true ka-toey to the Miss World pageant since most TVs are more attractive than their female counterparts.

Love Live Miss Tiffany 2006.

Because we all know the words to WALK OF THE WILD SIDE.

“In the backroom she was everybody’s darling.”