In 8 days I’m flying from Bangkok to JFK. 17 hours. My first time back in 3 years. I’m leaving the Land of smiles, my wife, daughter, cheap beer, palm trees, beaches, go-gos, elephants, and my motorcycle.

I don’t think about my car much since my wife drive it.

My friend Nick recently returned from the UK and I asked him, “What was worse getting on the plane or off the plane?”

“Off the plane.” He grimaced at the recollection. “First the sky was grey, I was cold, and everyone had their mugs down and looking like someone had stolen their teddy bear. How long you going back for?”

“One month.” This had been the only flights open for a free ticket.

After leaving Nick, I thought about what culture shocks I might be facing in America. Immediately the obesity factor came to mind.

China may be the most populous nation in the world, but with only a third of the population America must outweigh them.

Americans are not fat. They are obese.

The reason they drive SUVs is not for protection for Al-Qaeda taxi drivers, but to make them look skinny.

I was watching GIMME SHELTER about the Rolling Stones Altamount concert in 1969 and there were only 3 fat people in an audience of 400,000. I went to a BBQ four years ago outside New York City and 80% of the people troughing ribs were overweight. My father isn’t one to hold back and said loudly, “Damn, there people are fat.”

Of course when he was here, he said, “Damn, there people are skinny.”

Thais are slender. Men and women. They are a few Chang-nois or baby elephant girls. they even have a Miss Chang-Noi Contest, but none of these Jumbo beauties are as behemothic as an American fatty.

I’ll have to keep my head down and stay out of fast food restaurants.

Not finger pointing, but I will take a few photos.

I’m already wondering whether I can change the return date of my flight.