Yesterday afternoon the Mission Impossible 3 DVDs hit the street of Pattaya. the DVD touts were telling customers, “Good movie.” like they had just graduated from the Pauline Kael film critic school (she was a famous critic who never panned a totally meaningless film by an unknown director) ie she was an intellectual.
Anyway MI3 isn’t selling as good as INSIDE MAN by Spike Lee to the beer louts in my local and today Nicole Kidman his lesbian ex-wife announced that she still loves Tom Cruise. This declaration doesn’t have anything to do with sex, because the couple was married for ten years and never conceived. Maybe his sperm was alien abducted by the scientology freaks.
She hopes that Tom has success with his new film so that their love can grow and grow with the royalties, but my friend Dave says MI3 sucks and bets that Nicole Kidman doesn’t, unless it’s on a tuna taco.
Thai bootleggers are hoping for the best. “MI-Sahm big movie. Sell good. Can buy car. Sell no good. Fuck Tom Cruise. You like see movie girl with elephant.”
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