Thailand has been lurching from crisis to crisis like a man staggering home from a long night at the bars. In April 2006 PM Thaksin called for a snap election figuring that the people of the northeast would reward his populist policies i.e. spending lots of money on buffaloes, health care, and roads; however he was outwitted by the Democrats who said we won’t play your game and boycotted the last election.
Unfortunately the new electoral day falls on Pattaya’s Songkran day, which means no beer, no lao, no whiskey, no nothing.
I went to the 7/11. Beer was off-limits, as the Thai electoral compliance states no alcohol can be served for 24 hours. The store was empty. After all what else there to buy in a 7/11 except for beer?
Phone cards and fast food?
The bars in Pattaya were shut. Drier than any town in the Bible Belt of America. Let’s face it, listening to your friend’s blather isn’t easy without ten beers in you.
The Go-Gos are closed on Walking Street. Girls are without money. Everyone is getting edgy.
The GOP likes to claim that Reagan overthrew the Soviet Empire through the force of his righteousness. The real cause was that Gorbachev was so concerned about the Russian liquor consumption. (Soldiers would drink the alcohol from the suspension of MIG fighters) that he curtailed liquor sales. Since the taxes from these sales were financing the evil empire, the economy went bust in a matter of months and the Berlin Wall tumbled.
Thais take their liquor seriously too. Up-country as much money is spent on whiskey as is on food. And now some genius has decided to exile the entire country into a detox cell. 24 hours. Nothing to drink.
I’d vote for anyone who wasn’t in favor of this election.
In fact I’d vote for anyone who would give me a drink.
Buy me a beer and I’ll vote twice.
If this is democracy, then give me beerocracy.
In vino veritas.
So tomorrow the nation will vote. Weary after five days of travel to and fro from the Songkran festival and frustrated by the inability to get a beer. May the best man win.
Thankfully the little shop up the soy was selling beer and lao. I’m telling my wife’s father to vote for the store owner even though she isn’t running. And that’s the beauty of democracy. You can waste your vote on whomever you want.
Long live the Mob!