Summer Times Blues

Today was the official summer solstice for the northern hemisphere. The day lasted almost sixteen hours in New York and the sun never set in Murmansk, Russia. I woke well before the dawn and went to sleep far past sunset, as the Earth polar cap tipped toward the nearest star 93 million miles away from our home planet.

Five hundred year after the discovery of beer by the Celts the Druid priests gathered the tribes to erect this monolithic bluestone clock to record the rising and setting on the sun and the passage of the stars. To this day modern archaeologists will not attributed this great feat to the Celts, because the true tribe supposedly arrived in Britain in 600 before Caeser’s reign over Rome.

Fucking Brits haven’t even discovered its ancient name.

No one has come even close.

No one.

Not even us remaining Neanderthals.

The Avebury henges followed Stonehenge’s creation.

Back in 1994 I drank in a good pub at the northern entrance.

I also climbed to the top of the Sillbury Hill.

Scientist have calculated that its construction took five hundred men fifteen years.

And over two seas of beer.

The exact purpose of the hill remains unknown.

The view from the top is good, but nothing special.

Stonehenge has its rivals such as the Hopewell Project in Bangkok.

Or Manhattanhenge in New York.

And who can forget the eternal bliss of Foamhenge in Virginia.

It’s now 2:33PM

In Brooklyn.

I am ready for a nap.

Longest day of the year or not.

With my head to the west.

As it should be on the summer solstice.

WICKED YOUTH – CHAPTER 6

VI

Sunny Isles belonged to Miami Beach, but the beach strip wasn’t South Beach with big hotels serving rich tourists with a view of the Gulf Stream. Budget hotels blocked the beach view and once off the strip the swamps ran west to the Everglades. The snowbirds’ exodus began before the Spring Break and hit stride on the Monday after Easter end of May was low season. Most of the motels on Collins Avenue sported occupancy signs. There were few takers

Kyla Rolla woke up early for breakfast with her father and looked out the bedroom window. Her father’s Cadillac convertible was the only one in parking lot. The fronds of two palms hung listless over the desolate sidewalk. Overhead a cloudless sky. Her hand presed against. Warm glass. Everyday the weather was the same unlike the South Shore of Boston. Warm, sunny, and warmer with the morning giving way to noon.

The air-conditioner was set at an eternal 71 degrees. A fine spring day in the Blue Hills, but cold to her skin. The slim fourteen year old threw off the blankets and pulled on a thin nightgown over her pajamas. A swift regard in the mirror and her hands smoothed down her blonde hair. Opening the bedroom door she walked down the hallway to the kitchen and opened the front door to pick up the newspaper in the hallway. She placed the Miami Herald on the table.

After buttering two slices of wheat toast and brewing a cup on instant coffee, she called for her father. Several second the forty year-old appeared in the kitchen ready for work selling luxury property from Bal Harbor to Key Biscayne. His tropical suit had been ironed by Kyla as was his white short-sleeved shirt. He smiled and sat down, putting a pack of LUcky Strikes on the table.

He was dying to smoke, but not smoking in the apartment was her one condition for coming down here.

“Good morning.”

“Another sunny day.”

“Just like yesterday.”

“Your mother said it felt like winter yesterday. Cold and rainy.” He spoke to her mother every day, mostly before he or she went to work.

“I doubt it ever gets cold here.”

In the winter it get into the 50s.” He looked at the top of the Miami Herald and said, “Forecast today in 82.”

“Just like yesterday and probably tomorrow. Can I come to work with you? I can get dresed in five minutes.” All she needed was a shirt, shorts and flip-flops and a bikini and towel in her bag.

“Sorry, I have to drive around a client all day.”

“I wish I could come with you.”

“It’s all business and you would be sitting in a hot car all day, as I deal with buyers and sellers. Not much fun.”

“It’s not a problem.” She buttered the toast and push the plate across the table. After five days she had only been to the airport and Sunny Isles. She had not expected to be trapped in this one road beach town. “I’ll go to the beach and then the library. Could I take the bus to Miami Beach one day?”

“The bus. No one rides the bus here.”

“I see plenty of people in the bus.” The old, Cubans, and blacks. “I know how to be careful.”

“Sorry, Kyla, but I don’t think it’s a good idea. I have to work the weekends, but next Monday we’ll go down to Miami Beach and maybe even take a trip down to Key West later in the month.”

“Okay.”

Satisfied with her complacency he opened the newspaper to the sports page and shook his head. “The Red Sox are going no where this year.”

Kyla resisted saying, “Just like me.” and saw under the headline that today was May 28. Tomorrow was Sean Coll’s birthday. He had said that he would write every day and not a single letter or card appeared in the mailbox. Only bills and circulars, but she had only been here six days. He couldn’t have forgotten her this quickly.

He looked up for the newspaper and then glanced down at her bare feet.

“What I tell you about wearing slippers? You leave footprints everywhere.”

“I forgot.” Kyla shrugged and sat down to an OJ and buttered toast.

After a week in Miami Beach their mornings and days had a routine.

“What are you doing today?”

“Same as yesterday.” She liked sleeping in bed late, but if she stayed in bed, she would miss this time with her father. This trip was not meeting her expectations. “Finish breakfast, go to the beach, lunch, read in the shade, go for a swim, eat dinner. Watch TV and go to sleep.”

“Sorry, I’m working so much.” His work had been a big promotion and a large increase in salary.
When her father first mentioned moving to Florida for work, she had thought her parents were having trouble, but neither her sisters or she had ever heard them fight. Her mother hadn’t wanted to make the move. Her family was in Boston and she had given her blessing to the move by saying, “You go make that money. I’ll come down later in the summer.”
Kyla had jumped at her father’s invitation to accompany him on the move. Florida had sounded so exotic and she had never traveled father than Cape Cod. She would have like to see Sean. They lived in the same isolated neighborhood under the Blue Hills. A bus ran into Lower Mills, where a trolley along the Neponset River connected with the T into Boston, but neither Boston nor Sean were going anywhere.

Now here she was in Florida. All alone. Every night her father came back late from work. Initially she thought he had a girlfriend, but his clothing only smelled of him. Her mother and father had been apart, ever since his transfer to Florida, but they were separated and not divorced. Her mother as a devout Catholic did not believed in divorce.

Kyla bit into the toast.

Her father finished his coffee, picked up his cigarettes, and kissed her on the cheek.

“Have a good day.”

The door was shut.

Kyla was alone, but there weere hundreds, if not thousands of people in Sunny Isles.

And not all of them were old.

Bet On Crazy 1 by Peter Nolan Smith

Richie was more forgiving. They had made the move to a diamond exchange on 47th Street. No more Italian subs, but the pastrami sandwich from the Bergers Deli was built for two. Richie and I shared one.

“So what are you going to do?” Richie positioned napkins on his lap and chest to avoid any greases dripping onto his Armani suit. He had bought it ‘hot’ from Frankie Fingers, the street’s haberdasher.

“Work in a club, I guess.” Fifteen publishers had rejected my stories.

“Any ideas?”

“None at all.” I stalled getting a job for several months, while I rewrote my short stories. The amount of typos was astounding, almost as if my fingers suffering from dyslexia.

The New Year brought an eviction notice. I didn’t panic. My landlord couldn’t take me to court for another three months. The refrigerator went empty and the heating was augmented by the gas range, as I typed away at my kitchen table, imagining fame and fortune would save me two minutes after I wrote THE END, then the springs of my typewriter broke with a off-note twang.

I walked to the repair shop through a snowstorm. The man at the counter said fixing the Olivetti portable would cost $50. My “I popped both my knees skiing. I’ll be off my legs for six months. You working?”

“No.” I could see what was coming and realized THE END would have to wait until summer.

“I need someone to schlep around goods.”

“Goods?” I knew ‘schlep’ meant to carry.

“Diamonds, jewelry to repair, money. Someone I can trust. Manny, what you think?”

“Why not?” Manny glanced up from a small pile of iridescent stones. “As long as you show up on time and don’t break my balls, you’ll do fine. $100 a day.”

“Cash?” I hadn’t paid taxes in ten years.

“I’m not the IRS.” Manny dropped a necklace into a small manila envelope and wrote an address. “Take this to the setter. Have him call me, then come back here fast. I got more for you to do.”

“Okay.” I had become a worker in less than a minute.

“Don’t lose anything.”

“Sure.” I stuffed the envelope inside my damp jacket. “What time is lunch?”

“Hasn’t been working for more than a minute and already worried about lunch. I’ll order you a sandwich for when you get back.” Manny resumed sorting the diamonds.

“Thanks,” Richie said from his desk.

“Thank you.” I would be able to pay off my back rent within the month.

“Can you two stop the love story and let the goy get going?” Manny sighed with annoyance.

“You know, Manny, I know nothing about diamonds.”

“Whatever.”

There would be much more than one or two, because I had survived day one as a goyim on 47th Street and my life wasn’t going anywhere fast. At least not in 1990.

THE END OF RICE by Peter Nolan Smith


Thailand has many superstitions. One concerns rice.

Never joke while eating or else a ghost will steal your rice.

The ghosts will have to wait, for this is the beginning of the rainy season and throughout the Kingdom aging farmers are planting rice. The current price for jasmine rice per tonne from the wholesalers is between 15,000-20,000 baht, which has been guaranteed by the government since last year. Mothers and fathers call their children for help with the crop, but fewer and fewer Thai young work the fields. Manual labor is beneath them. As one old farmer said, “The only thing my son knows how to carry is a mobile phone.”

Several years ago at dawn in Bannok my wife’s father asked, if I wanted to plant rice.

“Plant rice. Know life Thai.”

“I don’t know.”

I had seen rice planting all across South East Asia. It never looked like an easy job.

Not in Bali.

Not in Java.

And not in Thailand.

Maybe you not man. Maybe you ladyboy,” joked Den.

“Ladyboys make more money.”

Not you. You ugly ladyboy.”

My mother-in-law, wife, and daughter laughed at the thought of me as a kathoey.

“Okay I’ll give it a try.”

Finish eat. Go field.”

Nu begged off going. She had had her share of the rice fields as a child. Angie, my daughter came with me, carrying cold beers. She knew my weaknesses better than most.

We arrived at the rice paddies with the sun creeping over the palm trees.

Ten migrant Burmese were already hard at work.

To the west mountains marked the frontier.

The air was gentle, but the first rays of the sun promised a hot one by mid-morning.

“Paw-ter, not do rice,” my daughter begged and pulled me from the path.

Angie was worried about my health.

I was not a young man, but neither was Den, who handed me a shoulder bag crammed with baby rice shots.

See me do.”

He stepped off the path into the brown water and began the traditional repetition of planting rice without ever standing up straight.

Now farang.” Den motioned for me to join him.

I stepped off the path. My bare feet sunk into the soft mud and the water lapped at my thighs. Old stalks poked at my tender soles. My technique of stick the rice shoots into the field were met with harsh criticism from the old farmer in Ban Nok.

“A pig shit rice better than you.” Den was joking, but only half-joking about my effort. He was 65 and his fatless body resembled the starving Buddha.

“I never work rice.”

“I see you never work rice.” Den was planting twenty times faster than me and my daughter laughed from dry ground as did several of the Burmese migrants whom Den had hired to assist with the crop. They got paid about $5 a day with a meal.

I got nothing.

“Farang no work rice.”

I had picked apples as a young boy on the South Shore, but couldn’t recall working on a farm since then. Only ten minutes had passed and I was ready to call it quits. I headed for my daughter, who wore a wide-brimmed hat and long-sleeved shirt to protect her skin from the sun. She grabbed cold beer from the cooler.

“You stop work?” Den nodded with satisfaction.

He had bet his wife that I wouldn’t last more than fifteen minutes.

“Yes, I stop work.” I sat on the dirt and drank a Leo beer in one go.

“You same all farangs.”

“Same all Thais too. Where young Thai?” I waved my hand across the fields.

“Your daughter lazy.”

“Not lazy. Not stupid same kwaii,” Angie disrespectfully muttered under her breath and stormed back to the shaded rice shack.

“I last Thai. After me no Thai grow rice. Then they eat air,” Den shouted after me. “Thailand old now. Not young. No one have baby. Only farang.”

He was right, for Thais have been abandoning the rice fields for work in hotels, factories, and bars. Thai families have been shrinking too. Once Den’s generation is gone, the communal rice tradition of long kek will disappear into the abandoned paddies.

Back at the shack I asked Angie, “If I am old and have no money, will you work rice so I can eat?”

“Mai.” Her refusal was quick. “Growing rice for stupid people.”

“Farmers aren’t stupid.”

“Then why they not rich?”

“Money isn’t everything.” Most rice farmers are hopelessly in debt to the banks and one in Asia worked harder.

“You want work rice?”

“No.”

She brought another beer and hugged me.

“Same me.”

My beer was very cold and I was glad she was my daughter.

Smart and loving.

Always.

Den came over to join me.

Angie gave him a beer.

We gave them together.

A Thai and a farang.

He souted for the Burmese to get back to work.

“They drink lao later. We too.”

He is the last Thai I know.

Chai-yo.

Going Up Country – Thai Style

Back in the 60s during their Woodstock concert Canned Heat had a small hit GOING UP COUNTRY.

“Going up country, baby, do you want to come along?”

After Altamont longhairs abandoned the rip-offs, bummers, and downers of the big cities to establish Aquarian communes in the hinterland offering free love, organic food, and reefer to establish a democracy on the foundations of the new age agrarian revolution, unfortunately few of these utopias lasted past the past the winter of the Moral Majority after the Summer of Love.

Why was well-portrayed in T. C. Boyle’s novel DROP CITY about the collapse of a Northern Californian commune and the surviving members’ exodus to Alaska, but that didn’t keep hippies from coming together for another try.

Liked Alan Lage in Encinitas. 1974.

The Iowan had survived cancer as a teen and was living with an LSD professor on a bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean. I dropped acid with him and his blonde girlfriend on Black’s Beach. Leslie looked like Pattie Hearst, the kidnapped heiress turned bank robber. The cops raided us as SLA revolutionaries. The acid was on paper. They touched it. Within twenty minutes the officers were getting a rush. We left town that night not wanting to witness the cops’ wrath in the morning. I said good-bye to Alan and his girl on the PCH.

“We’re going to Marin to live off the country.”

I almost joined them, but the cops up north would be after Pattie Hearst too.

A year later he showed up in Woodstock New York. Leslie had been replaced by Nona, half-New Jersey/half-Filipino. Skinny as Olive Oyl and smelling of cinnamon. They had a commune of two on a chicken farm. Grass, organic food, and John Lennon. Nona danced to Alan’s guitar. Her sinuous body weaved a trance invading my dreams. She was Alan’s chick and, while I might covet my friend’s chick, I wasn’t going to steal her, because I only break one commandment at a time and this night I went home with a fat girl I met at the Joyous Lake Bar. Babs had big breasts. We had sex in her bathtub next to a babbling creek. Later in her bed we committed sodomy. I should have stayed, but had the ambition to become a writer in New York.

And I thought writers needed to live in the city.

Not the country.

Almost 35 years in Boston, New York, LA, Paris, Hamburg, Bangkok, Pattaya.

My first Thai wife doesn’t like Pattaya.

She preferred living in Ban Nam Phu west of Chai-nat.

Two hours by bus from Pattaya to Morchit. Another 3 hours to Chai-nat, then a fifty kilometer car ride.

Over our years together she has bought twenty rai of land and ten cows. The land was being prepared for a teakwood forest, so we can sell carbon rights to polluting factories and harvest the timber in fifteen years. I went up once a month to visit my wife and daughter.

Crossing the river by ferry at Wat Sing we entered a land without farangs. Just the way I like it.

Rice paddies, egrets, buffalos, butterflies, pigs, trees, mountains, dirt roads, and early evenings drinking beer with rice farmers under a billion stars in the sky.

“Going up-country, baby, do you want to come along?” I loved that song by Canned Heat. They played Woodstock.

Sometimes I think it’d be nice to stay here always, but no one can survive by eating the scenery.

Smoke a little weed, drink a lot of beer, but what would I do for work?

Grow rice?

Only to brew lao-khao whiskey.

Teach English to the children of rice farmers.

The headmaster of my daughter’s school would like that.

10,000 baht/month.

Nature. Quiet. Wife. Daughter. Farm. Beer. Reefer.

But then I ask myself what would happen if civilization collapsed under the weight of global warming. No electricity. No cars. No airplanes. No way to get back to the West.

The sea would flood Pattaya and Bangkok. People would flee inland. I would head up to my wife’s farm. It was on higher ground. 110 feet above sea level. My daughter would be happy to see me. My wife’s family would view me as another mouth to feed.

“What can he do?”

Back in 1995 I was in Tibet with my friend Tim Challen. The road to Nepal had been smothered by a mudslide. We were sort of stranded in Lhasa. He asked, “If the world fell apart, what would be do to live here?”

The choices were simple in Tibet.

“Become a monk or a clown. A clown like Sean Connery and Michael Caine in A MAN WHO WOULD BE KING.”

Tim liked the idea and several years ago I had everyone laughing at a family dinner in the rice paddies telling them about getting a penis transplant from a horse and charging everyone ten baht to see the farang with the ham ma yoow or long horse cock.

Twenty baht to touch it.

A hippie freak show clown.

That would be my calling after the Armageddon.

“Going up-country, baby, you want to come along?”

Den’sRice Paddies

No one works the paddies anymore.
The old gave up the game.
Enough Work like slaves.
Good season, Bad season. Always the last baht in the pocket.
Never the first. Work sunrise. Sunset.
Breaking back
Breaking feet
Come home at night
The radio on
Playing Luk Thong.
A good day
Today.
Children’s bellies full
Wife smiling
Happy
And a bottle of lao khao
To celebrate
The end of the day
Happy
Chai yo!!!